Top Health Tips on Improving Relationships

Over the years, infidelity has surfaced as the single most common reason that has the ability to shatter and dismantle a perfectly happy relationship. Infidelity can occur in any and every form of relationship and in each of them it is deemed as unacceptable and uncalled for. Lack of affection has been generally identified as the primary cause why people stray.

However, there are other reasons too that cause infidelity. Some of them are:

Bad judgment: The person who is held responsible for going astray may actually be the victim of bad judgement and an impulsive decision. There may not be anything wrong with the marriage, but momentary attraction and a rash decision are possible reasons that lead a person astray.
Search for an emotional connect: The lack of emotional connect with the partner can be a possible reason for infidelity. An unquenchable thirst for attention and the need to be flattered as well as finding an emotional connect with a new person causes infidelity. Though the most common and devastating outcome of infidelity is the end of a relationship, there are ways, which helps one to overcome infidelity. Some of them are as follows:
Ending the affair immediately: The first and foremost step that you must take in overcoming infidelity is to end the affair immediately. If your relationship is important to you, then it would require your complete investment both physically and emotionally. You must snap all contacts with the other person and concentrate on rebuilding your relationship with renewed faith and trust.
Open discussion: If you want your relationship to work then you must have a completely free and open discussion with your partner. Coming clean about your past affair is imperative if you want to begin anew. Your partner deserves a complete, honest discussion and you must do it delicately and with a lot of care.
Willingness to compromise: Beginning a relationship after confessing about the past relationships requires a lot of hard work and compromises. It will take a long time for the relationship to be what it was before the infidelity and you should take complete responsibility for it as well have a willingness to compromise on certain issues.
Marriage therapy: Apart from the attempt to amend yourself, you can also use the help of a marriage therapist. A marriage counselor or a therapist, through prolonged discussions and sound counselling can avert the possible ending of the relationship.

Over the years, Infidelity has surfaced as the single most common reason that has the ability to shatter and dismantle a perfectly happy relationship. Infidelity can occur in any and every form of relationship and in each of them it is deemed as unacceptable and uncalled for. Lack of affection has been generally identified as the primary cause why people stray. However there are other reasons too that cause infidelity. Some of them are:

Bad judgment
The person who is held responsible for going astray may actually be the victim of bad judgement and an impulsive decision. There may not be anything wrong with the marriage but momentary attraction and a rash decision are possible reasons that lead a person astray.

Search for an emotional connect
A lack of emotional connect with the partner can be a possible reason for infidelity. An unquenchable thirst for attention and the need to be flattered as well finding an emotional connect with a new person causes infidelity. Though the most common and devastating outcome of infidelity is the end of a relationship.

There are ways one that helps one to overcome infidelity. Some of them are as follows:


Ending the affair immediately
The first and foremost step that you must take in overcoming infidelity is to end the affair immediately. If your relationship is important to you, then it would require your complete investment both physically and emotionally. You must snap all contacts with the other person and concentrate on rebuilding your relationship with renewed faith and trust.
Open discussion
If you want the relationship to work then you must have a completely free and open discussion with your partner. Coming clean about your past affair is imperative if you want to begin anew. Your partner deserves a complete, honest discussion and you must do it delicately and with a lot of care.
Willingness to compromise
Beginning a relationship after confessing about the past relationships requires a lot of hard work and compromises. It will take a long time for the relationship to be what it was before the infidelity and you should take complete responsibility for it as well have a willingness to compromise on certain issues.
Marriage therapy
Apart from attempts to amend yourself, you can also use the help of a marriage therapist. A marriage counselor or a therapist through prolonged discussions and sound counsels can avert the possible ending of the relationship.

People often consider their wedding as the most important day of their lives. Well however, that is a myth. The most important days of your life are followed by your wedding. That is the time that you lay the foundation for a strong and happy married life. The building of this foundation may be affected by some things, the most important factor being failing venereal activities.

Go to a specialist before your big day, so that the days that follow don t embarrass you in front of your partner.

Become aware:
Not being aware of your sexual potencies is a threat to your conjugal life. People today are too busy planning their wedding and making lavish expenses. But most often they ignore another important factor.

Do you know what is that?
What is important apart from this is the premarital self sexual assessment. Don t let your first time with your partner be the very first time you test your abilities. Even a good car needs its test run before it leaves the factory and almost every car needs a good service for better performance. That is exactly what premarital self-sexual assessment is.

In case you are not all that aware of the self-assessment techniques or need an expert s guidance, make your way to a specialist, in this case, a Sexologist and get help. Checking your sexual wellness before your wedding is the most important task at hand and nothing tops it on the priority list.

Why do you need premartial self sexual assessment?
In case you are torn between the decisions of whether to visit a sexologist or not, here are a few factors that make Premarital Self Sexual Assessment mandatory for you-

It helps you to assess your ability to perform
It helps you to make sure of your parenting future
It helps you to prevent yourself and your partner from any sexually transmitted diseases, and most importantly
It saves you from the embarrassment of non or unsatisfactory performance for the first time, post wedding
How does premartial self sexual assessment works?
There are some ways that you can self-assess your sexual potencies. Some of the most effective ways include:

Ejaculation Time: Monitor whether you are stricken by premature ejaculation. If yes, take the help of a specialist to delay it. Also, check whether you have a satisfactory ejaculation. Non- satisfactory ejaculation can lead to some health issues in the future.
Erection Wellness: A great help extended by the premarital self-sexual assessment is checking of your erection wellness. In case there is the unsatisfactory erection, treatment from a specialist can help you reach optimal erection.
Libido Wellness at Home: Another factor to be addressed during premarital self-sexual assessment is Libido Wellness at home.
The Complete Recovery from ED and PE: Dual Action Package is the most effective way of dealing with any unsatisfactory sexual condition. Here is where it becomes important for you to consult a sexologist before marriage. A sexologist will provide you with the best Premarital Sexual Assessment as well as the best treatment to put you in the best of your form.

Marriage is the union of not only two individuals but the coming together of their families and friends. Couples, be it an arranged marriage or a love marriage, have a number of things to consider and agree upon for their relationship to be successful. Although they talk about everything under the sun from children to house to finances, one subject that rarely receives much consideration is sex. Even if both partners have had sex with other people in the past and are sexually active in their current relationship, they shy away from discussing it with each other in most cases.

In recent times, many couples have opted to discuss the sexual aspect of their impending marriage with a sex counselor. The concept of pre-marital sexual counseling is at a nascent stage and is frowned and looked down upon by society as a whole. But it is almost imperative to not only educate couples about sex but also to make them aware of their and their partner s sexual needs and preferences. The most important aspect of sexual counseling is effective communication resulting in sexual harmony. It also gives couples certain clarity as to what to expect 20 or 30 years down the line when both partners may have decreased libido.

Reasons why you should go for pre-marital sexual counseling:

Misconceptions and Fears- There are many myths regarding sex such as masturbation is wrong or sexual penetration is painful. Sex education is not provided in schools and the lack of it creates a gap between knowledge and misinformation. Couples, especially women who will be engaging in sex for the first time, should not feel scared about the activity. Sex counseling can do away with all such misconceptions and clear the way for a satisfying sexual experience.
Awareness- Often couples fail to communicate properly about their desires and fantasies surrounding sex. Therefore, talking in front of a sex counselor may help a couple discuss everything about sex ranging from sexual frequency to compatibility. You can have an open dialogue with your partner regarding sex and also talk about your likes and dislikes concerning foreplay, orgasm and other key parts of sexual intercourse.
Pregnancy Planning- Women often get confused when it comes to their menstrual cycle and pregnancy. This confusion might result in unprotected sex. It's important to know the nitty-gritty of your ovulation and the functions of contraceptives to plan your pregnancy in a manner so that you are prepared physically, emotionally, mentally and financially. A sex counselor is able to enlighten couples about this part as well.
Information about STDs- Many couples do not have the basic understanding of HIV/AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). They also do not know how to use a condom properly, thereby resulting in unanticipated and unwanted circumstances. In such cases, pre-marriage counseling helps a couple gain knowledge about the same.
If you are getting married, then you and your partner should go for pre-marital counseling to create a solid foundation for your sacred union.

Married for months and years and yet no intercourse? You are not alone! (This should be the heading) Mr. and Mrs. S. were married for over 2 years now. It was an arranged marriage and the couple were getting along well. The only issue bothering them was that despite trying in many different ways, sexual intercourse has not taken place between them. It appeared that initially the wife was afraid of penetration, has experienced pain when the husband tried to penetrate, avoided sex as much as possible, consulted several doctors and gynecologists and followed their suggestions.

Finally, when Mrs. S was mentally and physically ready for intercourse, the husband, Mr. S started experiencing erectile dysfunction. He says his erections are good when he is alone, or even when he indulges in foreplay, but loses erection the moment he tries to take the penis near the vagina.

The result? The marriage is unconsummated, that is, intercourse has not yet happened between the couple.

Unconsummated marriage is not a rare thing. Quite a few couples experience it, though the exact prevalence is not known. Usually it is expected to be more prevalent in cultures with no or limited sex education / premarital guidance. For some, the problem resolves in a few weeks, for others it takes years on end. I have seen several couples who were unconsummated for 6-8 years and at least one couple who were married for 18 years. It does not mean that the problem is so complex! It only means the couple have taken so long to pluck up the courage to seek professional help and to strictly follow the therapist's suggestions.

What happens when the marriage is unconsummated?

Whether a couple is married or not, when they are unable to accomplish vaginal penetration, the relationship may be impacted in profound ways. It depends on how much each one loves, cares and supports the other, or how much each distrusts and finds fault with the other.

- Some try every position, lubricant, anesthetic, tranquilizer or the advice of a well-wisher and rate the outcome as success or failure.

- Some may altogether avoid intercourse or even other sexual activities.

- Some engage in all other intimate sexual activities including mutual masturbation or superficial sex (sex between the thighs) but preclude attempts to penetration.

- Yet others resort to the blame game, accusing the other for the failure. - Nevertheless, all unconsummated couples feel distressed, except those who enjoy satisfying sexual life, albeit without intercourse. Marital distress may in some cases lead to disputes between the couple, their families, and eventual annulment of marriage.

- Some people seek immediate consultation when they notice the problem, but many delay it for weeks to years out of embarrassment. Many a time, the couples seek professional help only when their urge to conceive surmounts embarrassment. Yet others consult only when their relationship comes under threat.

Why does it happen?

Unconsummated marriage can result from physical problems as well as psychological causes.

Causes in women:

1) Severe anxiety and fear of pain on penetration or of pregnancy. Sexual phobias and aversion is also a cause.

2) Past painful experiences

3) Sexual pain disorders such as localized vulvodynia (vulvar vestibulitis syndrome), which is characterized by pain with touch at the entry to the vagina, which can prevent intercourse.

4) Some women have a very thick hymen, or a septate hymen, which vertically separates the vagina into two sides.

5) Vaginismus - a condition in which the muscles surrounding the vaginal opening contract involuntarily and close the opening tightly, making the penetration impossible. This is a psychosexual condition requiring counseling and behavior therapy.

In the male:

1) Erectile dysfunction can prevent intercourse. If it has a physiological basis, it may be treated medically.

2) Too early ejaculation (ejaculating before penetration)

3) curvature of the penis (if the curvature is mild, it can be dealt with through creative positioning. In more severe cases, medical or surgical treatment may be needed).

4) Severe anxiety and being over protective.

Both:

1) Lack of knowledge about sexual anatomy, physiology and sexual positions & techniques may contribute to the inability to penetrate.

2) One or both of the partners may have mobility problems or difficulty getting in to or maintaining a position.

How is the problem treated?

Most of these conditions can be addressed with appropriate information, guidance, counseling and physical therapy, including use of vaginal dilators. A septate hymen needs surgical repair. Anxiety and fear have to addressed. Pain due to infections or deformities need to be treated. Male erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation require treatment.

Couples in unconsummated relationships of long duration, may need couples-therapy. Premarital education and counseling can go a long way in reducing the number of unconsummated marriages and the resulting distress and marital problems.

Marriage is perhaps the most important relation in an adult s life. That s why it needs extra care and attention, especially when things are not exactly gung ho. This is where marriage or marital therapy comes in.

Marriage counseling is the process of counseling the married couple to recognize and to reconcile or at least manage differences and repeating patterns of stressupon the marital relationship.

Basic practices of marital therapy

The basic practices of marital therapy focus primarily on the process of communicating. Counselors use a method called active listening.
Another method used is called Cinematic immersion . Both these methods have one important thing in common- they help counselors create a safe environment where each partner can express feelings and hear the feelings of the other.
Emotionally focused therapy for couples or EFT-C is also used. This is based on attachment theory and uses emotion as an agent of change and target, both.
Behavioral couples therapy is another method used. It is actually a proven way out of marital discord. This method focuses on integrating the twin goals of acceptance and change for couples in therapy.
The successful couples usually make concrete changes to accommodate the needs of the partner and also show greater emotional acceptance of the other.

Role of the relationship counselor
A couple therapist is usually someone with a degree in psychiatry or counseling. And her primary role is to listen, understand and facilitate better communication between the couple. The counselor also:

Provides a confidential tete-a tete, which normalizes feelings
Enables each partner to be heard and to hear themselves
Works as a mirror to reflect the marriage s difficulties to the partners
Outlines the potential and direction for change
Delivers important information
Improves communication
Identifies the repetitive, negative interaction cycle that drives a problematic marriage as a pattern
Understands the source of emotions behind that negative pattern
Re-organizes these key emotional responses to offset the pattern
Creates new patterns of interaction
Increases emotional attachment between partners
When should you seek marital therapy?

When you avoid communicating or your communication has become negative- This usually means bad language, verbal abuse, and sometimes physical abuse.
When you or your partner have sought out other sexual partners Marital therapy can save a marriage after an affair if both partners want and work out the kinks in their relationship.
Lack of intimacy in the marriage- This is the stage when partners just occupy the same space without communication, or exchange of feelings or touch.
Marriage counseling is a long process. And another thing to remember is that it can t save a marriage that is unsalvageable. So, go in for marital therapy with an aim to do what s the best for you and your partner.

6 Reasons Pre-marital Counselling is Crucial for Indian Couples

A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology reveals that couples who opt for pre-marital counselling experience higher levels of conjugal satisfaction than couples who don t go for it. Moreover, these couples, experience a 30% drop in the possibility of divorce over a 5-year period.

Pre-marital counselling is a wise choice as it can help you and your partner to better understand the dynamics of your relationship and build the foundation of a happy future together.

A pre-marital counselling helps you with the following factors-



Hygiene: Apart from stressing on the importance of personal health and hygiene, you would also hear a gynaecologist, emphasizing on the significance of sexual hygiene for a problem-free married life. While preventing infections that may affect your reproductive system, maintaining sexual hygiene can also significantly elevate the overall hygiene levels of your entire body.
Sex: Pre-marital sex counselling is essential as it helps to fill in the gaps in your knowledge of sex. During your consultation with a gynaecologist, you can expect to receive information about the male and female anatomy as well as about the actual act. Even thoughts like sex can be painful get addressed during the counselling.
Contraceptives: Counselling sessions with a gynaecologist can also help you in getting your facts right about pregnancy. He or she could guide you on how to work out safe and unsafe days to have sex; talk to you about contraceptive methods; and best family planning practices.
Folic acid for pregnancy: During a counselling session, you can expect to be encouraged by a gynaecologist to have Vitamin B (folic acid) before and during your pregnancy to avert birth defects in the brain and spinal cord of your potential offspring.
Vaccines: Opting for a counselling session before marriage can help you to learn about vaccines that will protect you against cervical cancer (cancer of the cervix caused mainly by HPV- a virus) and rubella (a disease caused by the rubella virus, which can cause miscarriage, birth defects and stillbirth).
Medical investigations: You should also expect investigations based on the following tests-
Complete blood count test: The aim of this test is to assess your overall health and identify a range of disorders such as anaemia, leukaemia, and infection to name a few.
Fasting/blood sugar test: The test is performed to diagnose diabetes. A fasting blood glucose level of less than 100mg/dl is considered normal.
Thyroid stimulating hormone test: This test is taken to check for problems in the thyroid gland.
Rubella test: It is used to identify antibodies that are formed in the blood, as a result of immunisation or the rubella infection.
HPLC (high performance liquid chromatography): The test is performed to determine Thalassemia.
Urine microscopy: The test helps in determining the condition of your urinary tract and kidney. It identifies injury, presence of disease or inflammation of these areas.

Over the years, infidelity has surfaced as the single most common reason that has the ability to shatter and dismantle a perfectly happy relationship. Infidelity can occur in any and every form of relationship and in each of them it is deemed as unacceptable and uncalled for. Lack of affection has been generally identified as the primary cause why people stray. However there are other reasons too that cause infidelity. Some of them are:
Bad judgment
The person who is held responsible for going astray may actually be the victim of bad judgement and an impulsive decision. There may not be anything wrong with the marriage but momentary attraction and a rash decision are possible reasons that lead a person astray.
Search for an emotional connect
A lack of emotional connect with the partner can be a possible reason for infidelity. An unquenchable thirst for attention and the need to be flattered as well finding an emotional connect with a new person causes infidelity.

Though the most common and devastating outcome of infidelity is the end of a relationship, there are ways one that helps one to overcome infidelity. Some of them are as follows:
Ending the affair immediately
The first and foremost step that you must take in overcoming infidelity is to end the affair immediately. If your relationship is important to you, then it would require your complete investment both physically and emotionally. You must snap all contacts with the other person and concentrate on rebuilding your relationship with renewed faith and trust.
Open discussion
If you want the relationship to work then you must have a completely free and open discussion with your partner. Coming clean about your past affair is imperative if you want to begin anew. Your partner deserves a complete, honest discussion and you must do it delicately and with a lot of care.
Willingness to compromise
Beginning a relationship after confessing about the past relationships requires a lot of hard work and compromises. It will take a long time for the relationship to be what it was before the infidelity and you should take complete responsibility for it as well have a willingness to compromise on certain issues.
Marriage therapy
Apart from attempts to amend yourself, you can also use the help of a marriage therapist. A marriage counselor or a therapist through prolonged discussions and sound counsels can avert the possible ending of the relationship.

Over the years, infidelity has surfaced as the single most common reason that has the ability to shatter and dismantle a perfectly happy relationship. Infidelity can occur in any and every form of relationship and in each of them it is deemed as unacceptable and uncalled for. And each of them leaves the persons with feelings of betrayal, anger and guilt. There are 101 reasons for infidelity even among the harmonious marriages - emotional disconnection from a partner is cited one of the most common causes. Feeling deprived of affection, appreciation, emotional support, feeling lonely and sad and the consequent feelings of anger and resentment all culminate into why people stray.

Bad judgment - But it could be as simple as impulsive decisions and acts too. The primary relationship (that is, the relationship with the spouse or long-term partner) maybe perfectly harmonious, yet in a momentary attraction and a rash decision a person may sow the seeds for infidelity.
Sexual dissatisfaction - Sexual dissatisfaction is stated as another important cause.
Search for an emotional connect - Many a time, it's also the urge for attention, to be flattered, and to be attracted by someone, causes infidelity.
Whatever the reasons for one to stray away, the act shatters the trust of the betrayed persons, and everything they believe to be true about the partner. People find themselves crying a lot, not being able to concentrate, being upset, and feeling depressed. The most common and devastating outcome of infidelity is the end of a relationship. However, emotions change over time. Once the initial shock is over, there are steps one might try before walking out of the relationship-

Ending the affair immediately - The first and foremost step that one must take in overcoming infidelity is to end the affair immediately. If your relationship is important to you, then it would require your complete investment both physically and emotionally. You must snap all contacts with the other person and concentrate on rebuilding your relationship with renewed faith and trust.
Open discussion - If you want the relationship to work then you must have a completely free and open discussion with your partner. Coming clean about your past affair is imperative if you want to begin anew. Your partner deserves a complete, honest discussion and you must do it delicately and with a lot of care.
Willingness to compromise - Beginning a relationship after confessing about the past relationships requires a lot of hard work and compromises. It will take a long time for the relationship to be nearly what it was before the infidelity and you should take complete responsibility for it, as well as have a willingness to compromise on certain issues.
Marriage therapy - Apart from attempts to amend yourself, you can also take the help of a marriage therapist. A marriage counselor or a therapist can, through a series of sessions of discussions and sound counsels, avert the possible ending of the relationship.

While you took vows of sticking to each other through thick and thin you surely hadn't thought of the extremes of bitterness a marriage could entail. The fundamental flaw is perhaps in treating marriage as a sanctified institution instead of a genuine relationship requiring patience, care and understanding. The minute you start taking your partner for granted your marriage moves an inch closer to failure. Respect is a key ingredient in love; try to identify if you are losing respect for your partner. Dejection could be the general response to a continued stretch of quarrels. Take out time to sit down and situate marital problems in order to bridge the gap between two souls.

Power politics: Individual mindset decides the course of your marriage. Many people bask in the idea of equality but never quite feel free to practice the same. Men or women should be comfortable in letting the other person share responsibilities. Nobody should dictate his or her partner in mutual or personal matters. Suggestion, discussions and disagreements as well can work for the betterment of your marriage. It is wrong to assume power in any relationship.

Never sacrifice your career: Fights and quarrels could result from your negligence towards yourself. You could be so interested in appeasing your partner that you give up on your career. In such a situation your partner might lose respect for you or might find you overbearing.

Procreation: Marital problems could arise from differences in opinion regarding procreation. One of the two individuals might want a child while the other person might not be ready for it as yet. A partner can also not want to procreate ever. If a married couple already has children, they may fight over them too. Many people find it difficult to accept their partner's take in issues related to the child.

Domestic issues: Domestic partnership can affect your marriage greatly. Problems start arising when two people, however close, start sharing the same space. There could be conflicts regarding cleanliness or kitchen work. It is necessary that you act sensible and never burden your partner with all the housework.

Banal sex life: It may happen that boredom overshadows your sex life. The reason behind frequent quarrels can be lack of sex or infrequent sex. Reach out to your partner to know his or her desires while communicating yours too.