Dear user you didn't mention your age. When we are aware about our problem we are able to control but we have to control it in a proper way. Medicines are not good for your physical as well as your mental health. If you don't want to take medication for life time then please wake up yourself, medicines are not a perfect solution for mental health, you have to work on your own, your will power, your mind and thoughts. But due to certain reasons if you are on antidepressants you have to take some extra care of yourself. I don't know what are the circumstances under which you are taking medicines, I want to know the whole details about your disorder. But I must say don't depend on the medicines and don't make it a habit for future. You need counselings session for a better control on this disorder and medicines. Medicines are not the only solution, counselings is a best option for you so that you could better understand yourself and save yourself from the side effects of medicines. Please call and discuss your problem in detail and then i'll be able to help you better.