How To Rebuild & Recover A Failing Marriage?

Marriage is a God's gift and it’s a journey that every individual need to go through with his own experience. There are no shortcuts!

A healthy marriage keeps couple and entire family members happy to full fill their dreams and desires. However due to different priorities, difference of opinions, personal egos and situation married life can go through ups and downs. There can be various reasons for strain in a married relationship, but its implications leave a strong emotional mark on the other partner, children, and family members for sure.

Let’s look at the most common reasons behind such breakup in married relationship and what are the ways to rebuild and recover the relationship.  

Common reasons for breakup among married couples:

1. Career priorities, expectation and running behind professional goals causes major drift among the working couple.

2. Work life imbalance is the root cause for stress and depression in both personal and professional life among married couple.

3. Addictions to Alcohol, Smoke, Drug is one of a key reason for most breakup today.

4. In-Laws, even with couples who live in different cities from their parents, ‘remote-control-in laws’ seem to have a great say in their children’s’ marriages.

5. Cultural differences, the way both partners were raised, their belief systems, religious/caste/rituals experience do cause trouble in relationships

6. Sexual incompatibility, the reason may be relatively new to the traditional norms set by our society, but in the past five years, sexual dissatisfaction has been the reason for more split-ups than ever before.

7. Financial Issues is a very crucial factor that can make or break a relationship.

8. Physical/Mental Abuse; it creates an unhealthy environment and damages the bond. It also affects the children and might disturb their mental state of seeing their parents fight like cats and dogs.

9. Extra-marital; Affair, accepting the fact that one’s better half has cheated on him/her kills the person from inside.

10. Boredom; Things that attract you about a partner are the same things that you will hate about them in three years. Romance and love is bound to reduce after sometime due to lack of changes.

11. Misunderstanding or expectation gap, communications gaps are other common thing in a relation which leads to doubt, fights and increases distance among couples

Nobody ties a knot to break it, but situations can make the person to do that. There are many ways to patch up and reignite the relationship. It just needs a commitment and little egoless effort to explore the options and try as a self-help or by taking a professional help.

1. Get back to the fundamentals:  Show the basic courtesy, respect, kindness, excuses to your partner that we commonly expect and share with friends or colleagues or others.

2.  Stop taking one another for granted. Express gratitude to one another. Say “Thank you” . “Appreciate it” , “Sorry” from the heart.

3. Put your spouse’s interests ahead of your own. Try to give more preference to your partner choice of place, things, activities, interests.

4. Put the relationship ahead of everything, including your religion, culture, in laws, friendship, career goals etc. All these factors can provide advice and opinion, but the decision should yours in favour for wellbeing of relationship. Do work life balance with more priority towards family.

5. Seek forgiveness and really forgive. Remember that we can’t forget the past. More and more we try to forget the past, bad memories will keep registering strong into our conscious mind. Better to accept the mistake and forgive.

6. Blame the situation not the partner. In most case, it’s the circumstance and situation that force people to behave differently than their core behaviour. Give the benefit of doubt to your loved one

7. Choose to love. There is no medicine better than love in handling emotional problem. Appreciate each other’s love and affection.

8. Maintain a good sexual wellness at both body and mind level. Sex is a natural urge and holding or unsatisfied sex causes stress and depression among couple. In fact, it’s a nature’s gift to keep your bonding strong forever and a good stress reliever.

9. Surround yourselves with people in healthy relationships: Never ever take advice from people suffering from relationship issues to fix your problem

10. Start over from scratch to recover and patch up broken relationship. Nothing wrong to admitting faults and restarting the cycle

11. Change the patterns to avoid boredom. Keep an element of surprise in relation. Your partner should be the first one to be shared with any news. Frequently change the places/events of your togetherness to keep the element of constant change. Frequently change the words and text to express love

12. Step out of comfort zone together. Try something new and accept success and failure together.

13. Get marriage counselling help as sometime a neutral and unbiased view is important to understand each other better and clear the difference of opinion.

14. Also proactively take the couple therapies to learn the dynamic and undiscovered aspects of husband and wife relationship to keep the happiness ON for ever.

Enjoy a happy married life!