Pornography (addiction) kills love… (and can lead to sexual problems)

Rajesh & Sneha (names changed) are professionals in the booming IT industry at Bangalore. Rajesh, 26years, works from home as his company and bosses are at the US. After bidding goodbye to Sneha who leaves early in the morning, Rajesh’s routine is to surf the net for pornography for at least 4-6 hours and masturbate at least once every day. He has zeroed down to a particular kind of porn that he spends endless time locating. He has been hooked on to this for over six years now and goes through the cycle of feeling guilty about engaging in it every time. However, he cannot stop himself from accessing it despite promising himself and Sneha. They have been married for over two years and have presented to the clinic with problems in sexual functioning. The marriage is not consummated and Rajesh is struggling to develop intimacy in the real world as his fantasies are engrossed with porn in the virtual world. In the beginning, Sneha struggled to understand why he was not being intimate with her and avoiding any physical contact with her. She even ended up wondering if she was attractive at all. She accidentally discovered Rajesh engaging in watching porn and masturbating to it when he told her what his problem was.

The word ‘pornography’ has its origin in the Greek word “Pornographos”, meaning, the “writing about prostitutes”. Pornography is now defined as the depiction of sexual activity, sexual organs and sexual experiences. The evolution and growth of Pornography traces the same curve as discoveries in media technology. Initially, it was the development of photography in the 1830’s, then, movie technology in 1900’s which probably gave birth to this phenomenon. The advent of video cassette players (in the 1970’s) provided moving images in the comfort and privacy of a person’s home. However, the birth of internet which is only a few years old has led to unprecedented growth in porn use. It is fast becoming a significant aspect of everyday life in urban India with easy access to high speed broadband connections both at home and on mobile devices is enabling access to pornography. Al Cooper and colleagues in a scientific paper in 2000, described a “Triple-A engine” effect of Accessibility, Affordability, and Anonymity – a combination that makes internet pornography distinct from the other forms of pornography. According to them, it is this Triple-A engine effect that is responsible for the exacerbation of pornography related problems in the last decade.

This new entity of compulsive pornographic use has been coined as an addiction similar to illicit drugs or alcohol where people need greater doses over time to get the same pleasure. It is reported that watching pornography and engaging in solitary masturbatory acts is much more prevalent in men, while women were more likely to be chatting about sex (“cybersex”). The major impact of internet pornographic addiction is not just on the identified individual who engages in it but also on the spouse or partner and on the family as a whole. Women in particular report feeling traumatized and helpless upon discovering about their partners engaging in viewing pornography online. They are more likely to view it as a betrayal and feel ‘cheated’ as if their partners were having an affair. Another study by Yoder and colleagues (2005) reported an association between internet pornographic usage and loneliness. They studied the amount of time spent on the internet viewing pornography which directly correlated with loneliness. The highest rate of loneliness was seen in the 31-40 yrs age group which forms the key age for fostering long term growth for couples’ relationship. Porn addiction has also been shown to be the cause for increase in marital conflicts, infidelity and divorces.

There are various ways of helping sufferers with this problem including counselling and in some cases, using medications. The internet’s provision of sexual content also has a positive role on individuals and relationships. It promotes sexual health with useful information about contraception, sexually transmitted infections, normal sexual functioning and anatomy. There are a host of websites and forums that provide self help and advice including online counselling for couples.

Dr Sandip Deshpande, MD, DPM, MRCPsych, PGDip (Sex & Relationship therapy)
Consultant Psychiatrist, Sexual & Relationship therapist