Reliving Your Marriage - How Can You Refresh It?

Marriages in our country usually last a lifetime and require effort from both parties involved to make them work. Often, marriages end because of boredom, as the partners begin to believe that the spark is gone. But there are many ways couples can perk up their marriage. 

While it is true that many people are short on precious time in today’s day and age, what is also true is that a marriage is well worth some prioritisation. 

Leaving dirty dishes in the sink for a little while longer does make good sense, if it means that the time is well-used to bond with one’s significant other. Leisure time spent between couples is crucial for the success of a marriage. Many couples do not make it a habit of listening to each other and this really does work to their detriment. Paying close attention to what the other one says and providing a response may not need a lot of effort but the dividends are rich in the form of the partner feeling good. 

Intimacy is a valued feeling of being wanted and it has a big part to play in the success of a marriage. Over the long term, many couples do not make the required effort and the overall quality of their bond is reduced, as a result. While reinitiating contact may be as simple as holding the other’s hand, many people do not do this as they feel their partner should be the one to do so. Intimacy does not only equate to sexual intimacy, but can even simply be looking into one’s partners eyes with love. 

Laughter is said to be the best medicine, and this happens to be true in the case of a marriage, as well. It has been found that couples who laugh about their past experiences are happier and get along a lot more amicably than those who do not. Recalling together where the couple first met and started seeing each other also has a positive impact as it makes both partners feel valued and thankful about what they have. 

Below, are tips that don’t require much—if any—money, time or even hard work! 

1. Engage in a new activity with your partner. Doing novel activities with your partner enables you to re-experience the original emotional state at the beginning of your marriage. In other words, trying something new sparks excitement, producing passion. You can do anything from deep-sea fishing to salsa dancing to hiking a mountain to eating at a different restaurant. 
2. Add the element of mystery or surprise. Both mystery and surprise also mimic the emotional state of a new romance. But it doesn’t mean whisking your wife away to the Mediterranean or surprising your husband with expensive dinners. Here, little gestures also go a long way. Examples include, surprising your wife at work and whisking her away for lunch, or sending a greeting card in the mail. 
3. Do something that kicks up your adrenaline and arousal. Young marriages start out with an adrenaline rush. Your heart races, you get giddy, you’re alert, awake and excited. Arousal-generating activities can include exercising, going on a vigorous hike, and even watching a scary movie. So it’s almost like fooling your brain that the arousal produced to this scary movie (or any other arousing activity) is really due to your marriage, and this helps to perk up the passion. 
4. Take a mini-vacation — just the two of you. Get out of the house for at least one night and two days, somewhere that interests both of you and creates new memories together. You don’t have to go far from home or spend a lot of money. The key is to spend quality time together away from home. Studies show that for women, in particular, getting away is important. They feel more passionate when they’re away from the pressures of their lives. At home, women have a tough time compartmentalizing things. They’re thinking about the laundry, lunch, paying the bills, cleaning the house, and checking things off their mental to-do list. 
5. Touch more often. Touch produces arousal, comfort and support both physiologically and psychologically, and it doesn’t have to be much of a touch. Holding hands on a walk, making sure you give a hug or kiss or embrace daily reminds you that you’re physiologically bonded. When reigniting your relationship, the key is to shake things up consistently. Good luck!