WHY EDUCATION ABOUT SEX AND SEXUALITY SHOULD START FROM A VERY YOUNG AGE

There has been an increasing conflict among various sections of the society regarding sex education to children. Even after prolonged discussions by academicians, sociologist, psychologists, politicians, law makers and people from various other walks of life, it seems that no conclusion has been arrived at. This has been happening in spite of the fact that, every day more and more cases of pedophilic aggression and rapes are being reported from all quarters, which still accepted as the tip of the iceberg by everyone. This does not include consensual sex with preadolescent and early adolescent children who involve in the act just for the thrill and pleasure without understanding the long term effects.

Most of the people who are against sex education in school seem to view sex and sexually as something associated with physical and functional aspects of sexual relationships. There are also others who feel that providing knowledge about sex may provide a gateway for experimenting sexual life at a young age. I don’t deny this risk factor. But these people can also never deny that without such informations such exploration and experimentation are still happening among adolescents.

What everyone should understand is sex and sexuality are not just related to physical and functional aspects of sexual life. There is emotional, interpersonal, relationship, social, moral and personality factors such as decision making, self confidence and self esteem associated with it. Any systematic sexual education should comprehensively cover all these factors in a progressive model at different grades. The sadness is that our normal academic system has failed to address all these psychological factors which are essential for a wholistic development of a child.

For ages together we have tried to maintain the secrecy of sexual life from not just from children, but also from adolescents who physically mature. Even the informations shared are partial and shrouded with secrecy. Just like any partial information motivating us to know more, this approach has only lead to increasing the interest in children to know more about sex. Leave out the films that brand themselves as “adults only” even though there is very limited restrictions on young children watching such films, even the ones which are branded as “for all” or family movie also have a lot of content which shows physical contact among opposite genders as pleasurable and exciting.

Children also witness such intimate contact in real life, in various social environments and sometimes even among their parents. children also come across a lot of sexuality associated terms which are explicit such as “fuck” in emotionally charged conversations, or words and terms with veiled informations, in lighter ones, for which the reactions from the listener is so different and explicit, that any child can smell that there is some shady information in it. These stimuli without appropriate systematic scientific knowledge can only evoke interest to know more and experiment at the first available opportunity.

With more and more children getting access to internet and have started using social networking rampantly, sex and sexuality are no more a holy secret to be preserved. Now children as young as 6yrs are browsing internet for information to get additional informations related to academic activities. Even without any intentional search or interest, they can very easily stray in to any of the website which provide obscene stories, pictures or prone video clips. Use of simple words like “hot” “position” in search engines, can give a lot of leads into such websites. These sites only provide information of the erotic pleasure associated with sexual life.

Since sexual interest are instinctual, it is quiet natural that the children who have once strayed into such websites are motivated to go again and search for such websites. With the parents finding very little time to monitor the activities of the child, provide adequate care, love, affection and emotional support, provide appropriate knowledge and clarifications, whenever the child has some doubts and apprehensions about what they have come across, the vulnerability of the children to become victims of cyber bullying and sexual assault increases in leaps and bounds. All a person with intentions of abusing a child has to do, is act affectionately to the child and the child easily falls into the trap.

With the majority of society focusing of increasing their standards of living by increasing their materialistic possessions and physical / environmental comforts, stress levels have increased and moral values and value for relationships have come down drastically. This has also lead to the increase in pervasive cognitions among adults making children more vulnerable to harassment.

Every data related to sex and sexuality is hidden from children or used with some other sublime representation, due to the fear that the parents or teachers may be put in a delicate situation if any questions are asked about it. Few also fear the embarrassment they may encounter if any such questions are asked by the child in a social situation. Other fears that this can create interest in sexual activities in the child. While all other body parts are taught by their names both in schools and by the parents the genitals name are not addressed as “vagina” or “penis” the real name. These parts are left out without names in the books and addressed with casual verbatim as “si si” or “su su”. This approach of the adults is the first seed for creating a belief in the mind of the child that anything related to genitals is supposed to be kept as a secret and should not be discussed openly. It is this thought that prevents the child from communicating any issues or happenings related to their genitals including sexual abuse.

Open communication about the genitals just like any other parts of the body can make the child free enough to communicate any happenings associated with it to their parents. A child should feel comfortable to say that somebody touched my vagina or penis just like he or she can say that somebody has touched my nose. Just like we teach the child how to take care of their teeth by brushing twice regularly, the child can also be taught how to maintain their genital hygienically, keeping it covered and not allowing anybody else to touch them and also immediately report any such incidents whether it’s done with consent or not, to parents or teachers. If such openness is created sexual abuse can been identified at a very early stage and preventive measures can be taken.

With the Freudian “id” the animal pleasure seeking behavior increasing in individuals, the society is becoming a dangerous place to live in, more so for the children. The demand of the current situation is to equip children adequate knowledge, skills, confidence and feeling that there are parents and teachers who they can freely approach for support when they encounter any crisis. Preventing sexual abuse has a important role to play in safe guarding the physical and psychological health and sex education from a very early stage has a very important role in ensuring this