KASTURBA HEALTH SOCIETY MEDICAL RESEARCH CENTER

Hi,

I am Dr. Surbhi Jhunjhunwala, Homeopath. Today I am gonna take the short topic on the effective use of No. Children need to hear No. And if you are not listening to No, means you are not doing a good parenting job. They need to know that they are adults in their life and when you draw lines, you force them consistently and lovingly. Now, what happens when we say No. They start testing our limits. And this is their job. And our job is to draw the line to show them the limit. They really don't want us to change the limit. They only want to know that there are people in their life who are not going to give them the cave as per their choice. And when you stay consistent that they can relax. What are the 2 times when your No may fail? One is you get many explanations. Lengthy explanation and open arguments. So, the best way is to stop reasoning. You say No, give a reason and then a full stop.

The other time when you No may fail, when you are saying No but almost asking for permission. For eg, if a parent says, we are not going to the mall because you have not finished your homework. This means the parent is not sure and that is not going to work. Now, your kid will find out the way to go to the mall. Now, when it comes to the adolescents and teenagers, your No may not work. What works is Yes! Does it mean that you are saying Yes for everything? No, not really. The only thing you need to do is, use No in a different fashion. The same kid grows up, Mumma, can I go to my friend's party? No, you haven't finished your homework and your room is a mess. Now kid will have a backup plan ready. The moment you say No, she knows what to do. Little bit tantrums, banging the door, not having meals. So, we have to clear the purpose. Now in this case, if I just change the word No with Yes and say like Yes, you can go after you finish your homework and clean up your room. Now kid will think I need to finish the work and then will go. And she may start working towards it. If you say a No to any child, please stick on to it. Because if you don't then next time child will get a message that has not tried enough. So, No should be a No and Yes has to be a Yes.

Thanks!

Hi.

This is Dr. Surbhi Jhunjhunwala. I am a homeopath and a counseling psychologist. I usually see all age groups but mainly I have more affinity towards children. Today I'll be talking on Bach flower medicines and childhood. Bach flowers also pronounced as batch flowers or Bach flower it's the same. It originates from London and the main person who has found out is Dr. Edward Bach. He was a normal practitioner and a pathologist for 20 years and it was later in his life when he gave up his practice and started discovering about Bach flower medicines.

The medicines are usually from wildflowers or berries or even the whole plant is taken. So Bach flower medicines are chosen based on the personality of the patient and this is known through main observation and that to the mother's observation, in my knowledge, is the best observation we can get and the best history we can get. Right from birth, the moment child enters into a toddler and the schooling starts Bach flower medicines have shown beautiful results for separation anxiety, certain phobias they develop it could be either school it could be as simple as a balloon.

I had a kid who had a phobia for balloon and was given Mimulus and he responded very well to an extent that he again started going for birthday parties and he attends started attending birthday parties. As the child grows further into schooling they might get another sibling, so there is sibling jealousy, sibling rivalry that happens. Usually, all these phases are phases where the children can cope on their own but there are certain times where they get stuck in these phases and they take a really long time to come out of it.

This phase can be helped for both the mother and the child with Bach flower medicines. As the child grows there are phases of aggression. It could be as severe as ADHD or as simple as a basic phase of aggression which may last for a couple of weeks but rather than suffering through those couple of weeks you can help the child with by giving Bach flower medicines. As a child enters puberty, they go through a lot of emotional changes right from increased sensitivity level to not loved feeling to attention seeking behavior and through different relationship issues that they go through.

In all these phases Bach flower medicines can again be of very help. So in acute phases where the symptoms and the causes are acute, it could be sudden trauma, sudden shock, sudden loss of a family member or as simple as their friend moving out and leaving them forever into another City for them that is a major loss. In all these phases also Bach flower can be of great help. We have used Bach flower in all these cases and most of them have responded very well.

For acute phases, the medicines can be given for a few days to a week or two weeks and in chronic cases like depression, anxiety, anger issues medicines need to be given longer. Now, once the medicine is started the earlier start coming out like an onion. So the most presenting symptom maybe aggression but as and when the child starts to get improving the deeper layers and deeper issues start coming out. That's when we need to change the Bach flower medicine and in a couple of weeks, we even stop it.

It's not something which needs to be given lifelong. One word of caution while giving Bach flower or taking Bach flower is it is not to change the personality completely. It is only to get rid of the negative effects of a personality trait. A person, if he or she is aggressive or short-tempered, will not turn into a completely calm and composed personality. The person will still be irritable or may still be hyper but just that he and his surroundings will not get affected so much. He will know how to handle his own temperament better.

For more details about either learning about Bach flower or taking please contact me through

Lybrate.