I'm 22 year old boy and i'm a porn addicted now porn is playing with my mind and i'm losing respect for girls I do not know how I stop this addiction, I try not to watch porn but still i'm addicted to porn. And now i'm not able to focus on my career and my study please help me.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist48yrs exp

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At this age, your career and studies demand much attention but your distraction by porn will definitely cause a lot of problems. Sex is a very mind-and-body occupying feature and is good for the relationship if it is respected and treated so. Anything that is not responsible, respectful or functional is really unhealthy for you. You need to be careful because porn may provide great sexual entertainment but it also stokes the desire, which will then lead to desire-fulfillment and that will lead to impulses. It actually objectifies women and sex to levels that make you lose respect for them like you claim. Besides, the whole thing is dramatized to such crazy levels of performance (that is why it sells too) that you are made to feel grossly inadequate. It is really far from the reality, and these are exceptional actors, with some exceptional endowments and actions that you may even look at your own spouse (later when you get married, that is) with disdain or inadequacies that are most unfair. After you have been stimulated you are left hungry in your groin to want to fulfill your desires, and if not met soon, leaves you with that raging libido, and it can goad you to do something inappropriate. In essence, it spoils a very beautiful thing and reduces it to mere physical impulses. After some time you get disgusted when you have had too much of it; whereas natural sex will never cause that effect at all. If you have so much of sexual energy you can channelize it into activities, sports, games, and hobbies. You need to distract yourself when the drive is very strong in you, which may be so if your levels of testosterone are very high too. You need to socialize with members of the opposite sex and enjoy their company to experience the different aspects of a woman and to also feel the different aspects of sex and not get frozen in the carnal part of it alone. Sex has five different dimensions to it: there is the physical aspect, the emotional aspect, the intellectual aspect, the social aspect and finally, there is the spiritual aspect. The latter may surprise you but this is where respect and regard for women and their bodies will come up to help treat them with value. If you cultivate these dimensions of sex I am sure you will perceive women differently and with a lot of respect. Eventually, when you are in a serious relationship with a woman, you will truly enjoy the whole concept of romance and being and falling in love with the real thing: that my friend will be a different ball-game. Do not play with a poor replica of sex, and shy away from the real person and thing, which are so wholesome. 

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