Hi doctor, we are being married since 2 years now but still haven't done sex. Earlier was phobic of it but now I am facing problems. Many a times I don't want to have sex as if no interest in it, also when I make a mood then we don't getting right position, my legs starts paining, which again make us hopeless. please help!

Dr. Mukesh TrivediPsychiatrist34yrs exp

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This are very very common issues related to sexual life and this happens because by and large people/couples know only erection and penetration which they come to know by hearsay guidance from friends and relatives and porn watching. This may help couples in penetration and that too doesn't happen easily in many couples like you because basic understanding of sexuality is missing. This will be easily solved but for that, first both of you need to understand that sexual knowledge is not by birth. Prepare both of you for one to one interaction with expert sexologist and relationship/marriage expert. Decide to connect me or an expert nearby either online or in person. Direct interaction is needed because every couple is different. All the best. 

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You get your UTI treated by Urine C/s examination and proper antibiotic course. Once your UTI is treated, you take 2-3 weekly courses of Nuforce 3Kit (taken one day per week only) to get rid of fungal and nonspecific bacterial infections. Then do pelvic exercises and general exercises to boost your physical stamina. Now your sex partner should be very gentle and cooperative. He should do proper and long foreplay before inserting and should use the posture that suits you best. You may use doggy style or in mission keeeping your legs on shoulder of your partner so that you don't get stress on legs. Initially you may enjoy oral sex (cunnilingus) and clitoral orgasm to boost your sexual desire. The lack of sexual desire is psychological and failure to have proper pleasureful sex may further diminish your desire. Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) or inhibited sexual desire (ISD) is considered a sexual dysfunction and is characterized as a lack or absence of sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity, as judged by a clinician. For this to be regarded as a disorder, it must cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulties and not be better accounted for by another mental disorder, a drug (legal or illegal), or some other medical condition. A person with ISD will not start, or respond to their partner's desire for, sexual activity. Other terms used to describe the phenomenon include sexual aversion and sexual apathy. There are various subtypes. HSDD can be general (general lack of sexual desire) or situational (still has sexual desire, but lacks sexual desire for current partner), and it can be acquired (HSDD started after a period of normal sexual functioning) or lifelong (the person has always had no/low sexual desire.) Treatment of HSSD: 1. Psychological counselling and guidance 2. Feeling of Pleasurable sexual activity may increase desire. 3. Testosterone supplementation is effective in the short-term 4.Flibanserin is the first medication approved for the treatment of HSDD. It is only slightly effective over placebo, having been found to increase the number of satisfying sexual events per month by 0.5 to 1 Previously it was not available in India but now it is available as Addyi (flibanserin) 100 mg tablets and may be tried. 3. 

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