Sir I don't feel self confident and I am like shy type I don't talk to much with my friends I want to talk but I don't get any topic to talk on and that by I don't have much friends too and I always feel sad I usually feel lonely I do not have self esteem Sir help me to get self confident and to get some friends I am Good in drawing, study and games and I do yoga too After this all I don't have friends I look good too Sir please help me out Sir I don't know what is this problem called it is like some Kind of xenophobia please help me out please.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist47yrs exp

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You obviously have social anxiety and poor self-esteem too. These can be worked out of if you follow the guidelines: You have a problem of self-acceptance, and if I may venture to say may be a rejection issue. This latter may have happened due to an actual rejection which you may have experienced very early in your life. The solution to this is a matter of genuine self-acceptance or self-love. I am not talking about narcissism: this is a genuine love of yourself. It is not based on your appearance alone. You must work on developing yourself in five areas: the physical fitness, emotional fitness, intellectual fitness, social fitness and spiritual fitness. I would also suggest you attend a good personality development program, a speech training course (I suggest the Toastmasters Club), a conversation and elocution course, and to do a personal grooming course too. Education is very good to boost self-confidence, and together with that if you develop socializing skills, you will make it big. Meet with a counselor and ask to be trained in handling emotions, and that will just take you places. Read a lot and meet lots of people, even if you feel too conscious: in time you will get out of this backwardness very well. Do physical fitness exercises regularly. Ultimately, if you believe in God, you will know that you are so precious to Him that no one else?s opinion or acceptance is as important as His. Your life will change phenomenally!  

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