I am 19 year old neet aspirant I lost internet in study for last 4 months .i want to become doctor .but I am feeling worthless and contemplating suicide. I started selfharming. I can't even sleep peacefully all my friends are 2 years ahead .i didn't get periods from last three months my head hurts a lot. I am feeling guilty for losing time, for crucial preparation, 3 months went by I didn't even studied, i don't know I am forgetting even what I studied, I was molested when I was 12 years, in my school, It is also university now, If I don't clear need this year, I will end up at that worst place, No one is believing me that I am not self harming intentionally. Guilt is killing me, My hands and are of cuts and scars they are ugly, I feel abut myself ugly no other option is left other than suicide, I know past never comes, I can't even get up from my bed, all that taunts are ringing in my head after exam, I am experiencing mood swing s.emotional breakdown, Repetitive behaviors like moving leg continuously, All my friends make fun of me, There is urge to cut myself.