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Frequently Asked Questions about Managing Temper Tantrums (Child) | Lybrate

He may be emotionally disturbed due to some reason, or may be going through some other problem, emotional or developmental. Please consult a professional as he needs to be evaluated properly.

Hello doctor my brother age is 10 years old. He is really aggressive and hyper child. He is good in studies but he get hyper very fast and start beating or throwing thing to other. He always play games on tv and moreover he always used to fight in school. Nowdays I am really fedup with his behavior. Every teacher complain about him. Please suggest me how to tackle him and how to counsel him.

Managing Temper Tantrums (Child)

Temper tantrums are a common occurrence in children between 1-4 years and involves children crying, kicking, screaming, and being aggressive. The causes of tantrums include the temperament of the child, hunger, exhaustion or stress. Complications that arise out of temper tantrums included strained interpersonal relationships. Parents can deal with tantrums by remaining calm and talking to their children about their problem once they calm down. A pediatrician should be consulted for guidance on how to deal with temper tantrums. Children often use tantrums as a way of communicating their difficult feelings. 

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When a parent loses the early confrontations with a child, the later conflicts become harder to win.



When a parent loses the early confrontations with a child, the later conflicts become harder to win.

Building your child s confidence and self image is an important part of raising a child. Self image can be defined as a child s view of himself and his strengths. If a child is comfortable with his self image, he will have confidence in himself. A foundation of self confidence is key to a child s success in his adult life. In their childhood years, a parent is the main source of building a child s self worth or self confidence. Here are a few ways you can develop your child s self confidence.

1. Avoid negative self talk: Children learn by watching their parents. Hearing parents berate themselves will make children do the same. Talking badly about yourself can reinforce a low self esteem. Hence avoid talking negatively about yourself and stop your child from doing it as well. If your child talks negatively about himself, give him evidence to prove the opposite or give them meaningful compliments. Also avoid calling your child names to shame him as these are likely to stay ingrained in his mind.

2. Celebrate uniqueness: Don t make your child feel like he has to live up to the standards set by siblings or peers. Further, do not pressurize them to fulfill your dreams. Recognize your child s strengths and celebrate his unique abilities. Help them develop their talents and set their own standards for themselves.

3. Let your child make decisions: Empower your child by allowing them to make decisions about simple things like what game to play or what to eat for dinner. Make them feel that their views are valued and thus teach them to be an active member of the family.

4. Let them work things out for themselves: Spoon feeding your child makes things easier at the time, but in the long run can have a negative effect on their self confidence. Be patient and let your child try and do things for himself. As he meets and overcomes new challenges, his confidence will grow. Give your child age appropriate chores to do around the house. This helps build responsibility and a feeling of competency.

5. Be genuine about your praise: Children are highly intuitive and can tell the difference between sincere praise and something being said merely for the sake of it. For example, if your child has made a drawing, instead of simply telling your child that he is an artist in the making be more specific and praise his choice or colours or ability of colouring within the lines.

Building your child s confidence and self image is an important part of raising a child. Self image can be defined as a child s view of himself and his strengths. If a child is comfortable with his self image, he will have confidence in himself. A foundation of self confidence is key to a child s success in his adult life. In their childhood years, a parent is the main source of building a child s self worth or self confidence. Here are a few ways you can develop your child s self confidence. 1. Avoid negative self talk: Children learn by watching their parents. Hearing parents berate themselves will make children do the same. Talking badly about yourself can reinforce a low self esteem. Hence avoid talking negatively about yourself and stop your child from doing it as well. If your child talks negatively about himself, give him evidence to prove the opposite or give them meaningful compliments. Also avoid calling your child names to shame him as these are likely to stay ingrained in his mind. 2. Celebrate uniqueness: Don t make your child feel like he has to live up to the standards set by siblings or peers. Further, do not pressurize them to fulfill your dreams. Recognize your child s strengths and celebrate his unique abilities. Help them develop their talents and set their own standards for themselves. 3. Let your child make decisions: Empower your child by allowing them to make decisions about simple things like what game to play or what to eat for dinner. Make them feel that their views are valued and thus teach them to be an active member of the family. 4. Let them work things out for themselves: Spoon feeding your child makes things easier at the time, but in the long run can have a negative effect on their self confidence. Be patient and let your child try and do things for himself. As he meets and overcomes new challenges, his confidence will grow. Give your child age appropriate chores to do around the house. This helps build responsibility and a feeling of competency. 5. Be genuine about your praise: Children are highly intuitive and can tell the difference between sincere praise and something being said merely for the sake of it. For example, if your child has made a drawing, instead of simply telling your child that he is an artist in the making be more specific and praise his choice or colours or ability of colouring within the lines.

Building your child&rsquo;s confidence and self image is an important part of raising a child. Self image can be defined as a child&rsquo;s view of himself and his strengths. If a child is comfortable with his self image, he will have confidence in himself. A foundation of self confidence is key to a child&rsquo;s success in his adult life. In their childhood years, a parent is the main source of building a child&rsquo;s self worth or self confidence. Here are a few ways you can develop your child&rsquo;s self confidence.

1. Avoid negative self talk: Children learn by watching their parents. <a href='https://www.lybrate.com/topic/hearing' target='_blank'>Hearing</a> parents berate themselves will make children do the same. Talking badly about yourself can reinforce a low self esteem. Hence avoid talking negatively about yourself and stop your child from doing it as well. If your child talks negatively about himself, give him evidence to prove the opposite or give them meaningful compliments. Also avoid calling your child names to shame him as these are likely to stay ingrained in his mind.

2. Celebrate uniqueness: Don&rsquo;t make your child feel like he has to live up to the standards set by siblings or peers. Further, do not pressurize them to fulfill your dreams. Recognize your child&rsquo;s strengths and celebrate his unique abilities. Help them develop their talents and set their own standards for themselves.


3. Let your child make decisions: Empower your child by allowing them to make decisions about simple things like what game to play or what to eat for dinner. Make them feel that their views are valued and thus teach them to be an active member of the family.

4. Let them work things out for themselves: Spoon feeding your child makes things easier at the time, but in the long run can have a negative effect on their self confidence. Be patient and let your child try and do things for himself. As he meets and overcomes new challenges, his confidence will grow. Give your child age appropriate chores to do around the house. This helps build responsibility and a feeling of competency.

5. Be genuine about your praise: Children are highly intuitive and can tell the difference between sincere praise and something being said merely for the sake of it. For example, if your child has made a drawing, instead of simply telling your child that he is an artist in the making be more specific and praise his choice or colours or ability of colouring within the lines.

Raising your Children with High Self Esteem

Improving Relationships

Improving Self Esteem

Parents sometimes tend to neglect their children due to various reasons. However, this negligence influences the children severely. It can affect the development, personality, relationship traits of the children. Every child needs care and love. Parents are naturally the closest people in a child s world. Negligence from the closest people can lead to destructive character traits in their personality.

1. Attachment problems: One of the primary and direct effects of parental negligence towards children can lead children to be less attached with family. If a child does not get the warmth and care from parents, he automatically detaches from the family bonding and even does not develop the love and compassionate feelings for the family. This pattern hardly changes over time, and it can even lead to problematic relationship of the child in the future. The child may not be able to be close to his own children later.

2. Brain development: Children are tender and sensitive, just like floral buds. Every stimulus has an action. For instance, a child who is affected by malnutrition suffers from weak neural cells. This can be a reason behind weak brain functions. The basic pillars of brain processes, that is, thinking and logical thinking, everything is affected due to parental negligence. It may lead to low level of self-confidence, depression, frustration, anxiety, troubled thoughts and emotional distortions.

Signs of parental negligence in children

1. Eating Disorders

2. Disrupted Sleep

3. Withdrawal from family bonding

4. Aggressive attitude

5. Bed wetting

6. Missing out school

7. Obsessive traits in behavioural patterns

8. Nightmares

9. Sudden change in attitude and behaviours

10. Depression

11. Violence

Every child seeks complete attention and love of his or her parents. However, parents may neglect them due to work stress, social obligations, personal problems and other such reasons. But parents should be considerate about the developmental barriers that could be posed due to this type of negligence. Some children also show eating habit changes, abusive attitude, violence or sometimes even plunge into complete isolation. While children require free scope to let their emotional and mental development boost with social activities, neglected children can withdraw themselves from social activities.

This means no friends, no social activity in life. This is a major reason for depression, suicidal attempts, deformed thought processes and misled lifestyle. As a parent, you can offer your optimum care and affection to your child to avoid such mental distortions, which can be avoided with love and warmth.

Parents sometimes tend to neglect their children due to various reasons. However, this negligence influences the children severely. It can affect the development, personality, relationship traits of the children. Every child needs care and love. Parents are naturally the closest people in a child s world. Negligence from the closest people can lead to destructive character traits in their personality. 1. Attachment problems: One of the primary and direct effects of parental negligence towards children can lead children to be less attached with family. If a child does not get the warmth and care from parents, he automatically detaches from the family bonding and even does not develop the love and compassionate feelings for the family. This pattern hardly changes over time, and it can even lead to problematic relationship of the child in the future. The child may not be able to be close to his own children later. 2. Brain development: Children are tender and sensitive, just like floral buds. Every stimulus has an action. For instance, a child who is affected by malnutrition suffers from weak neural cells. This can be a reason behind weak brain functions. The basic pillars of brain processes, that is, thinking and logical thinking, everything is affected due to parental negligence. It may lead to low level of self-confidence, depression, frustration, anxiety, troubled thoughts and emotional distortions. Signs of parental negligence in children 1. Eating Disorders 2. Disrupted Sleep 3. Withdrawal from family bonding 4. Aggressive attitude 5. Bed wetting 6. Missing out school 7. Obsessive traits in behavioural patterns 8. Nightmares 9. Sudden change in attitude and behaviours 10. Depression 11. Violence Every child seeks complete attention and love of his or her parents. However, parents may neglect them due to work stress, social obligations, personal problems and other such reasons. But parents should be considerate about the developmental barriers that could be posed due to this type of negligence. Some children also show eating habit changes, abusive attitude, violence or sometimes even plunge into complete isolation. While children require free scope to let their emotional and mental development boost with social activities, neglected children can withdraw themselves from social activities. This means no friends, no social activity in life. This is a major reason for depression, suicidal attempts, deformed thought processes and misled lifestyle. As a parent, you can offer your optimum care and affection to your child to avoid such mental distortions, which can be avoided with love and warmth.

Parents sometimes tend to neglect their children due to various reasons. However, this negligence influences the children severely. It can affect the development, personality, relationship traits of the children. Every child needs care and love. Parents are naturally the closest people in a child&rsquo;s world. Negligence from the closest people can lead to destructive character traits in their personality.

1. Attachment problems: One of the primary and direct effects of parental negligence towards children can lead children to be less attached with family. If a child does not get the warmth and care from parents, he automatically detaches from the family bonding and even does not develop the love and compassionate feelings for the family. This pattern hardly changes over time, and it can even lead to problematic relationship of the child in the future. The child may not be able to be close to his own children later.

2. Brain development: Children are tender and sensitive, just like floral buds. Every stimulus has an action. For instance, a child who is affected by <a href='https://www.lybrate.com/topic/malnutrition' target='_blank'>malnutrition</a> suffers from weak neural cells. This can be a reason behind weak brain functions. The basic pillars of brain processes, that is, thinking and logical thinking, everything is affected due to parental negligence. It may lead to low level of self-confidence, <a href='https://www.lybrate.com/topic/depression' target='_blank'>depression</a>, frustration, anxiety and <a href='https://www.lybrate.com/topic/stress-disorder' target='_blank'>stress</a>, troubled thoughts and emotional distortions.


Signs of parental negligence in children

1. <a href='https://www.lybrate.com/topic/eating-disorders' target='_blank'>Eating Disorders</a>

2. Disrupted Sleep

3. Withdrawal from family bonding

4. Aggressive attitude

5. Bed wetting

6. Missing out school

7. Obsessive traits in behavioural patterns

8. <a href='https://www.lybrate.com/treatment-for-nightmares' target='_blank'>Nightmares</a>

9. Sudden change in attitude and behaviours

10. Depression

11. Violence

Every child seeks complete attention and love of his or her parents. However, parents may neglect them due to work stress, social obligations, personal problems and other such reasons. But parents should be considerate about the developmental barriers that could be posed due to this type of negligence. Some children also show eating habit changes, abusive attitude, violence or sometimes even plunge into complete isolation. While children require free scope to let their emotional and mental development boost with social activities, neglected children can withdraw themselves from social activities.

This means no friends, no social activity in life. This is a major reason for depression, suicidal attempts, deformed thought processes and misled lifestyle. As a parent, you can offer your optimum care and affection to your child to avoid such mental distortions, which can be avoided with love and warmth.&nbsp;If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult the doctor&nbsp;and ask a free question.

How Neglect from Parents Affects Your Child?

Caring for Teenagers (15-17 yrs)

Caring for Young Teenagers (12-14 yrs)

Every child tries to check his/her limits, it is up to the parents how well they can regulate the child's behavior and exercise their control for the child's welfare.
Many a times parents do not stop/ignore unacceptable behaviors in the initial stages, this may lead to increased frequency and higher intensity of misconduct. Nip the bad behavior in the bud.

Every child tries to check his/her limits, it is up to the parents how well they can regulate the child's behavior and exercise their control for the child's welfare. Many a times parents do not stop/ignore unacceptable behaviors in the initial stages, this may lead to increased frequency and higher intensity of misconduct. Nip the bad behavior in the bud.

Responsible Parenting

In many cases; divorce and separation leads not only to bad blood between the parents, but also in a child alienating himself from one parent. Insulting or belittling one parent without justification or under pressure from the other parent is known as parental alienation syndrome. Parental alienation involves one parent undermining the other and interfering with the child s relationship with the other parent by limiting contact with them, bad mouthing them, forbidding discussion about them etc. This can have a very negative effect on the child s emotional state.

1. Self hatred: For children, hatred is not inborn, but developed by the situations they are in. By bad mouthing a parent and teaching the child to hate the parent, the child himself is harmed. With time, he begins to internalize this hatred and believe that there is something wrong with him that made the alienated parent not want him.

2. Low self esteem: When a child is not allowed to speak his mind and has to bottle up his thoughts, he becomes socially withdrawn. Often the child begins to feel that he is the cause for the rift in the family and makes himself responsible for the separation. This intensifies with time and makes the child lose confidence in himself leading to low self esteem.

3. Lack of trust: When a child is suddenly pulled away from one parent and told how that parent is not a  good person  the child is likely to feel betrayed. This creates a sense of doubt in the child s mind and makes it difficult for him to trust other people. As he grows up, this can affect his own adult relationships as well.

4. Depression: Depression is a commonly seen in children from broken homes and this is intensified in cases of parental alienation. It is rooted in the child s feeling unloved by either one of the parents and built up by the separation. Not being given a chance to speak about their feelings or talk about the situation makes them more depressed and they begin to withdraw into themselves. In many cases, it is noted that alienated children have strained relationships with their own children as well.

5. Substance abuse: Depression is one of the most common triggers for substance abuse. Alienated children often feels trapped and that they have no outlet to vent their feelings and frustrations. This often makes them turn towards drugs for relief and can make them victims of substance abuse.

In many cases; divorce and separation leads not only to bad blood between the parents, but also in a child alienating himself from one parent. Insulting or belittling one parent without justification or under pressure from the other parent is known as parental alienation syndrome. Parental alienation involves one parent undermining the other and interfering with the child s relationship with the other parent by limiting contact with them, bad mouthing them, forbidding discussion about them etc. This can have a very negative effect on the child s emotional state. 1. Self hatred: For children, hatred is not inborn, but developed by the situations they are in. By bad mouthing a parent and teaching the child to hate the parent, the child himself is harmed. With time, he begins to internalize this hatred and believe that there is something wrong with him that made the alienated parent not want him. 2. Low self esteem: When a child is not allowed to speak his mind and has to bottle up his thoughts, he becomes socially withdrawn. Often the child begins to feel that he is the cause for the rift in the family and makes himself responsible for the separation. This intensifies with time and makes the child lose confidence in himself leading to low self esteem. 3. Lack of trust: When a child is suddenly pulled away from one parent and told how that parent is not a good person the child is likely to feel betrayed. This creates a sense of doubt in the child s mind and makes it difficult for him to trust other people. As he grows up, this can affect his own adult relationships as well. 4. Depression: Depression is a commonly seen in children from broken homes and this is intensified in cases of parental alienation. It is rooted in the child s feeling unloved by either one of the parents and built up by the separation. Not being given a chance to speak about their feelings or talk about the situation makes them more depressed and they begin to withdraw into themselves. In many cases, it is noted that alienated children have strained relationships with their own children as well. 5. Substance abuse: Depression is one of the most common triggers for substance abuse. Alienated children often feels trapped and that they have no outlet to vent their feelings and frustrations. This often makes them turn towards drugs for relief and can make them victims of substance abuse.

In many cases; divorce and separation leads not only to bad blood between the parents, but also in a child alienating himself from one parent. Insulting or belittling one parent without justification or under pressure from the other parent is known as parental alienation syndrome. Parental alienation involves one parent undermining the other and interfering with the child&rsquo;s relationship with the other parent by limiting contact with them, bad mouthing them, forbidding discussion about them etc. This can have a very negative effect on the child&rsquo;s emotional state.

1. Self hatred: For children, hatred is not inborn, but developed by the situations they are in. By bad mouthing a parent and teaching the child to hate the parent, the child himself is harmed. With time, he begins to internalize this hatred and believe that there is something wrong with him that made the alienated parent not want him.

2. Low self esteem: When a child is not allowed to speak his mind and has to bottle up his thoughts, he becomes socially withdrawn. Often the child begins to feel that he is the cause for the rift in the family and makes himself responsible for the separation. This intensifies with time and makes the child lose confidence in himself leading to low self esteem.

3. Lack of trust: When a child is suddenly pulled away from one parent and told how that parent is not a &lsquo;good person&rsquo; the child is likely to feel betrayed. This creates a sense of doubt in the child&rsquo;s mind and makes it difficult for him to trust other people. As he grows up, this can affect his own adult relationships as well.


4. <a href='https://www.lybrate.com/topic/depression' target='_blank'>Depression</a>: Depression is a commonly seen in children from broken homes and this is intensified in cases of parental alienation. It is rooted in the child&rsquo;s feeling unloved by either one of the parents and built up by the separation. Not being given a chance to speak about their feelings or talk about the situation makes them more depressed and they begin to withdraw into themselves. In many cases, it is noted that alienated children have strained relationships with their own children as well.

5. Substance abuse: Depression is one of the most common triggers for substance abuse. Alienated children often feels trapped and that they have no outlet to vent their feelings and frustrations. This often makes them turn towards drugs for relief and can make them victims of substance abuse.&nbsp;In case you have a concern or query you can always&nbsp;<a href='https://www.lybrate.com/psychologist' target='_blank'>consult an expert</a>&nbsp;&amp; get answers to your questions!

Effects of Parental Alienation Syndrome on Children

Living with Major Depression

Overcoming Mild Depression

Managing Temper Tantrums in Children
All children from time to time will cling, shout, throw, resist, complain, argue and do not listen to their parents or teachers. Though they are normal, they can be upsetting to everyone around. They become problematic when they increase in severity, intensity and duration that is typical for the age of the child.
Usually they starts at around 1.5 years age and stay till 4 years of age.

WHY DO THEY HAVE TEMPER TANTRUMS

1.They get angry if they do not get what they want.
2.They want to control their lives.
3.They have not learnt effective skills to get what they want.
4.They learned from parents who show temper outbursts.

HOW TO PREVENT TANTRUMS

1.Praise the child for his/her good behavior
Give extra attention whenever child behaves well. Give him a hug and praise him. For example - when a child has put his shoes in place, instead of ignoring it, acknowledge it and praise him saying “Wow, that’s like a good boy. You put your shoes in the correct place. Wonderful!”

2.Encourage the child to use words.
For example - If he wants something, tell him to use words like ‘i want food/ i want this toy’ instead of screaming.

3.Also see whether they are eating and sleeping well.

4.Identify triggers -
For example, Are they hungry or tired? sometimes even when the parent is busy, a child can throw temper tantrum to gain attention.
After a long day of work, instead of directly going to make dinner, the parent can go give the child a hug and spend some quality time.

5.Give signals before ending an activity
For example - say “You have 5 more minutes before I switch off the TV” instead of switching it off suddenly.

HOW TO HANDLE TEMPER TANTRUMS

1.Remain calm and do not argue with the child - Before managing your child’s behavior you must manage your behavior (sometimes children learn from parents who show anger outbursts and learn to shout and scream). Shouting at the child will worsen the child’s behavior.

2.Think before acting and count till 10 if you are frustrated - and then think about the source of child’s frustration.

3.Come down to the child’s eye level - and say ‘you are starting to become hyper, calm down’

4.Distract the child - by asking them to focus on something else. For example say “let’s read a book or let’s go for a walk”

5.Ignore the tantrum - if it is to draw your attention. After the child becomes calm, show him attention.

6.Hold the child who is out of control - and who can harm him/herself. Tell the child that you will let him or her go only when he or she calms down. Reassure the child that everything will be alright.

7.Hug your child who is crying - and say that you love them but the behavior should change. Reassurance and hugging will always be comforting to the child.

8.Talk to the child after the child has calmed down - Talk to the child about his or her frustration.

Try to teach the child how to interact with a friend or sibling or parent and ask for what he or she wants.
Tell them how to express his or her feelings with words and recognise the feelings of others also without hitting and shouting.
Tell them the better ways to get things that they want.
Tell them that we all have anger within and also tell them how to appropriately express it.

9.Never give in to a tantrum - If you give in once the child will get used to it and his tantrums will increase more.

10.Do not let the tantrum interfere with your relationship - with your child.

Consult a professional if the tantrums are increasing even after 3.5 years of age or if there is self injurious behavior, depression, injuring others, low self esteem etc.

Managing Temper Tantrums in Children All children from time to time will cling, shout, throw, resist, complain, argue and do not listen to their parents or teachers. Though they are normal, they can be upsetting to everyone around. They become problematic when they increase in severity, intensity and duration that is typical for the age of the child. Usually they starts at around 1.5 years age and stay till 4 years of age. WHY DO THEY HAVE TEMPER TANTRUMS 1.They get angry if they do not get what they want. 2.They want to control their lives. 3.They have not learnt effective skills to get what they want. 4.They learned from parents who show temper outbursts. HOW TO PREVENT TANTRUMS 1.Praise the child for his/her good behavior Give extra attention whenever child behaves well. Give him a hug and praise him. For example - when a child has put his shoes in place, instead of ignoring it, acknowledge it and praise him saying “Wow, that’s like a good boy. You put your shoes in the correct place. Wonderful!” 2.Encourage the child to use words. For example - If he wants something, tell him to use words like ‘i want food/ i want this toy’ instead of screaming. 3.Also see whether they are eating and sleeping well. 4.Identify triggers - For example, Are they hungry or tired? sometimes even when the parent is busy, a child can throw temper tantrum to gain attention. After a long day of work, instead of directly going to make dinner, the parent can go give the child a hug and spend some quality time. 5.Give signals before ending an activity For example - say “You have 5 more minutes before I switch off the TV” instead of switching it off suddenly. HOW TO HANDLE TEMPER TANTRUMS 1.Remain calm and do not argue with the child - Before managing your child’s behavior you must manage your behavior (sometimes children learn from parents who show anger outbursts and learn to shout and scream). Shouting at the child will worsen the child’s behavior. 2.Think before acting and count till 10 if you are frustrated - and then think about the source of child’s frustration. 3.Come down to the child’s eye level - and say ‘you are starting to become hyper, calm down’ 4.Distract the child - by asking them to focus on something else. For example say “let’s read a book or let’s go for a walk” 5.Ignore the tantrum - if it is to draw your attention. After the child becomes calm, show him attention. 6.Hold the child who is out of control - and who can harm him/herself. Tell the child that you will let him or her go only when he or she calms down. Reassure the child that everything will be alright. 7.Hug your child who is crying - and say that you love them but the behavior should change. Reassurance and hugging will always be comforting to the child. 8.Talk to the child after the child has calmed down - Talk to the child about his or her frustration. Try to teach the child how to interact with a friend or sibling or parent and ask for what he or she wants. Tell them how to express his or her feelings with words and recognise the feelings of others also without hitting and shouting. Tell them the better ways to get things that they want. Tell them that we all have anger within and also tell them how to appropriately express it. 9.Never give in to a tantrum - If you give in once the child will get used to it and his tantrums will increase more. 10.Do not let the tantrum interfere with your relationship - with your child. Consult a professional if the tantrums are increasing even after 3.5 years of age or if there is self injurious behavior, depression, injuring others, low self esteem etc.

Top Questions on Managing Temper Tantrums (Child)

Hello doctor my brother age is 10 years old. He is really aggressive and hyper child. He is good in studies but he get h ...