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Last Updated: Oct 23, 2019
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Infidelity - 4 Tips For You

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Dr. Poosha DarbhaSexologist • 40 Years Exp.PhD Human Genetics
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Over the years, infidelity has surfaced as the single most common reason that has the ability to shatter and dismantle a perfectly happy relationship. Infidelity can occur in any and every form of relationship and in each of them it is deemed as unacceptable and uncalled for. And each of them leaves the persons with feelings of betrayal, anger and guilt. There are 101 reasons for infidelity – even among the harmonious marriages - emotional disconnection from a partner is cited one of the most common causes. Feeling deprived of affection, appreciation, emotional support, feeling lonely and sad and the consequent feelings of anger and resentment all culminate into why people stray. 

  1. Bad judgment - But it could be as simple as impulsive decisions and acts too. The primary relationship (that is, the relationship with the spouse or long-term partner) maybe perfectly harmonious, yet in a momentary attraction and a rash decision a person may sow the seeds for infidelity. 
  2. Sexual dissatisfaction - Sexual dissatisfaction is stated as another important cause. 
  3. Search for an emotional connect - Many a time, it's also the urge for attention, to be flattered, and to be attracted by someone, causes infidelity.

Whatever the reasons for one to stray away, the act shatters the trust of the betrayed persons, and everything they believe to be true about the partner. People find themselves crying a lot, not being able to concentrate, being upset, and feeling depressed. The most common and devastating outcome of infidelity is the end of a relationship. However, emotions change over time. Once the initial shock is over, there are steps one might try before walking out of the relationship- 

  1. Ending the affair immediately - The first and foremost step that one must take in overcoming infidelity is to end the affair immediately. If your relationship is important to you, then it would require your complete investment both physically and emotionally. You must snap all contacts with the other person and concentrate on rebuilding your relationship with renewed faith and trust. 
  2. Open discussion - If you want the relationship to work then you must have a completely free and open discussion with your partner. Coming clean about your past affair is imperative if you want to begin anew. Your partner deserves a complete, honest discussion and you must do it delicately and with a lot of care. 
  3. Willingness to compromise - Beginning a relationship after confessing about the past relationships requires a lot of hard work and compromises. It will take a long time for the relationship to be nearly what it was before the infidelity and you should take complete responsibility for it, as well as have a willingness to compromise on certain issues. 
  4. Marriage therapy - Apart from attempts to amend yourself, you can also take the help of a marriage therapist. A marriage counselor or a therapist can, through a series of sessions of discussions and sound counsels, avert the possible ending of the relationship. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Sexologist.
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