Love Addiction - Treatment, Symptoms and Causes

Love Addiction is a human behavior in which the addict become addicted to the feeling of being in love. While the desire to love and be loved is perfectly normal, the intoxicating feeling of being “in love” becomes addictive for some individuals. If you’ve ever been in love, you know how powerful the feeling can be- suddenly your world is turned upside down. You feel an excitement – an energy, if you will – that makes everything seem new and wonderful in life. Some people describe love as a feeling like they were walking on air. It’s natural to want this euphoric feeling to last forever. Who will want to lose it!

Of course, most people do realize that the wonderful initial feeling of new love doesn’t (and can’t) last forever. In healthy long-term relationships, the initial love gradually gives way to a more mature, more understanding love – one that is perhaps less intoxicating and euphoric. For those prone to love addiction, however, the loss of that initial euphoria is akin to the crash that drug addicts feel when they are bereaved of their drug. They crave the “high” and begin the search for another fix or their being in high state.. Love addicts also exhibit the same phenomenon, which is why they often go from one relationship to the next once the initial high of the excitement wears off.

The causes of love addiction are more complex and typically rooted in the experiences encountered in early life. The most prominent factors that contribute to love addiction are as listed below:

• childhood neglect.
• abandonment by loved ones.
• Rejection encountered by loved one.
• physical, emotional or sexual abuse.

As a result of insecure attachments in childhood, love addicts most generally lack confidence and a sense of self awareness and confidence. Coming to adulthood, they start feeling insecure in their bonds with other people and struggle to establish appropriate boundaries. At times it does occur that love addicts become desperate in their efforts to maintain relationships with their partners and are sometimes labelled as 'clingy” or 'needy.” Rather than tolerating the painful reality the individual tries to escape into fantasy in the pursuit of perfect love. This further worsens the situation instead of solving it as the individual is distracted from the reality.

• Constantly craving and searching for a romantic relationship.
• Being desperate to please partner and being fearful of the other’s unhappiness.
• Feeling desperate when there is no relationship to look forward for
• Once the newness and excitement worn off intimacy and excitement wears off.
• Choosing emotionally unavailable partners who are verbally or physically abusive.
• Inclining manipulation and seductive resorts to control the partner, or to keep it 'hooked' .
• Practicing anonymous sex, porn, or compulsive masturbation to avoid the much needed relationships.
• Repeatedly returning to previously unmanageable or painful relationships despite promises not do so.

During treatment, love addicts are asked to abstain from romantic or sexual relationships for a specified time period of the treatment. This break allows them to focus on the underlying issues and helps finding in the causes of the problem. Any other co-occurring problems such as drug or alcohol addiction, depression, anxiety and eating disorders are also found out and this helps in the complete cure of the patient. Trauma work can be an integral part of the treatment plan as mostly love addiction often stems from childhood abuse or abandonment. The goals of the treatment include building healthy relationships for the patients, setting appropriate boundaries in relationships, and achieving genuine intimacy. The treatment helps love addicts learn to move beyond the obsession they have with romance and embrace the realities of mature, authentic love.

For preventing this type of love addiction we would advise not to give up on oneself.

1. Knowing about the addiction helps.
2. Do not compromise your personal values just to fulfil an urge-
3. Have a game plan for the times when temptation tries to overpower you.
4. Be confident for the times you are successful.
5. Instead of chasing something virtual, try to live life in the reality.
6. Don’t try to be someone other than who you really are.
7. Be your own best friend and have self-respect.
8. Don’t hold grudges against anyone.
9. Do not manipulate anyone to make them stay with you.
10. Don’t look to others to validate you – that must come from within.
11. Don’t dwell on past mistakes or regrets. Accept past mistakes and regrets and focus on the present and the future.
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12. Perfection is never attainable. Instead, strive to be excellent.
13. Be with trustworthy people who will support you while treating you with the respect you deserve. Be in a healthy environment.
14. Take responsibility for the decisions you have made.
15. Being conscious of the fact that rejection does not imply that the individual is worthlless or does not deserve love.
16. Make time to focus on something you are passionate about or that gives you a strong sense of purpose.
17. Learn something new that you enjoy. Focusing on a new task or project is a great way to ward off intrusive thoughts.
18. Make sure that your expectations of yourself as well as others is realistic.

Withdrawal symptoms may be include some feelings of anxiety, panic, fear, nausea, dramatic changes in weight, insomnia, depression, loneliness, obsession, anger, rage, emptiness, denial, and despair. Love addicts in withdrawal often do experience irrational thoughts, distortions, and feelings of being powerless, alone and weak. The feeling or most aptly the inner sense of being completely diminished and insufficient as a person, flood the 'being' of their soul. Symptoms may include insomnia, vomiting and other stomach ailments, as well as depression and grief states. Sometimes love addicts elect to go through this process on reaching the depth of despair about the state of their lives and the addiction they are in. This is a painful yet necessary step in the recovery process for the addict and may sometimes have to face withdrawal following the abandonment by a partner, often a love-avoidant.