Hello good evening Dr. I am 23 years old. I had a relation 5 years back. Later I fall in deeply love but after spending one years. She changed her mind and she left me. She also said she is in lv. But later she said that was my childhood. Her age is 24 years. I tried to forget her as much as I forget her she comes close to me in my dreams 4 years passed I hurted alot for her .later I fully tried to manage but could not understand myself permanently. I had some disease after breaking heart. Heart pain chest pain asthma. Etc.now at the right time to forget her I HV to destroy my emotions. I fall in danger disease like masterbans. When I do handpracktis I feel some better but my brain always stopped on her. Later she frndshp with me. But the heat of revenge always dstrb me. I had break up again and again .i am nervous after her leaving I NVR recover.

Dr. Chayanika SarmaPsychiatrist10yrs exp

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Love is an emotion, a positive feeling. It grows into a relation between a boy & girl when it is two sided, when both find each other compatible, understand & respect each other or when their expectations are fulfilled. Maybe she had the feeling of love emotionally, but practically could not let it develop into a relation for some reasons personal to her, & walked out. That relation is past now. & life had moved ahead of it by 5 years. Do not take it in a negative & destructive way, but look at it maturely & practically. A relation is never successful if it is not compatible & two sided. Such relation ultimately breaks up at one point, & may be your relation would have broken down, if not then maybe later. If would have broken later would have harmed you more, as with years emotions would have grown stronger, maybe would have been married by then or maybe would have passed that age when you could have planned your life in a new way. She realized that the relation was not compatible for her, & she discontinued it. That was a good & healthy decision from her side to move out, rather than playing with your emotion or lingering something which was not possible from her side. Do not bring ego in between, as a break up does not mean personally either of the two is unworthy or not suitable, but it is the end of a relation that could not happen because of some reason. You are wasting your time in something that is past now. Plan your future & try to move ahead in life & take as whatever happened, had happened for good. Find someone with whom you are compatible & comfortable & start a new relation. As you said you had deep love for her; as the love did not grow into a relation, better to look at it a feeling you experienced once & try to move ahead towards an attuned relation. One cannot stay in the past, & have to move on. Do not keep any hatred feeling for her as it may harm both of you. Respect her decision & try to forget the past. You loved she once, always stay her well-wisher & long the best for her. One do not control over one?s emotion, but have control over one?s action. You both can still be good friends. At you will move ahead in life, you will slowly come out of your past. Think positive & all the best for your future life.  

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