Hi, How do I mingle with people and be sociallable. I have been trying it for a long time but cannot talk to anyone. I even have suicidal thoughts because of loneliness. What if people don't accept me. They run away from me because I don't talk to them but just listen how can I change my behaviour.please suggest me how to overcome from that,.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist47yrs exp

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Sounds to me like you are into an anger related depression. If you have not been on medication and you want to remain so, you will have to work very hard to recover from this condition. You must first of all seek the help of a counselor, ideally. If that person thinks that you need to meet with a doctor you will need to do so and cooperate right through. In the meantime please do the following sincerely because you could resolve the problem better with good cooperation: Have a good night?s sleep, have a good breakfast of more proteins, meditate often, remain free of stress, eat a lot of fiber, nuts, avocado, exercise regularly, eat dark chocolate, do Yoga meditation exercises, etc. I suggest you do the opposite of what this depression makes you feel like doing (actually, not doing): you will need to fight this condition. You must become active; stay upright during the daylight time; meet people; never sleep during the day, wake up by 6 am every day, play some active games, especially contact games, do physical exercises, talk to people and join some social clubs, attend Yoga classes etc. Watch sitcoms on TV or comedies and cheer yourself up. Go for excursions in groups, for outings, camps, conferences, and religious conventions. Get a pet dog and spend time training it, exercising it and relating to it. Expose yourself to some sunlight every day, at least 30 minutes but not in the scotching heat. Whatever happens, please incorporate these three important adaptations in your life: always be responsible, be respectful, and be functional. If you did these three, lots of things will go well in life. Please pray and have faith in God to alleviate your sufferings. Don?t wait for others to help. Use your own motivation, which might be at its lowest, but persevere and win this battle. Above all to be really happy, you need to live in love and for love: find someone to love and to love you back, if you are not already married. Learn all about emotions and how to handle them and that will get you out of the depression rather easily and quickly. A counselor is there only to facilitate you, all the hard word must come from you, and your cooperation with that person is very critical for your success. Be positive everyday and learn to be contended with what you have. Do some left brain exercises: it is the happy brain. Here are a few suggestions: shut your left nostril and breathe, move your eyes from right to left and vice versa for at least half a minute at a time, and do calisthenic exercises with some form of counting, regularly. Whatever happens please cooperate with the therapy and do not discontinue until the condition is completely resolved. You are indeed unique and there is no one who is going to be like you, ever! You have a problem of self-acceptance, and if I may venture to say may be a rejection issue. This latter may have happened due to an actual rejection which you may have experienced very early in your life. The solution to this is a matter of genuine self-acceptance or self-love. I am not talking about narcissism: this is a genuine love of yourself. It is not based on your appearance alone. You must work on developing yourself in five areas: the physical fitness, emotional fitness, intellectual fitness, social fitness and spiritual fitness. I would also suggest you attend a good personality development program, a speech training course (I suggest the Toastmasters Club), a conversation and elocution course, and to do a personal grooming course too. Education is very good to boost self-confidence, and together with that if you develop socializing skills, you will make it big. Meet with a counselor and ask to be trained in handling emotions, and that will just take you places. Read a lot and meet lots of people, even if you feel too conscious: in time you will get out of this backwardness very well. Do physical fitness exercises regularly. Ultimately, if you believe in God, you will know that you are so precious to Him that no one else?s opinion or acceptance is as important as His. Your life will change phenomenally!  

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