I am mentally, physically, emotionally disturb at the moment, nothing I do makes me happy, I don't feel like working, not feel like eating not feel like being with others, just want to get lost somewhere or vinish away. My love life is not going on aa expected. And I can't get her out of ny thoughts, mind and heart. She is like driving me crazy 24*7 in my thoughts, I miss her like anything, which I am not liking it. I want to be myself feel myself like the old days. But, I can't feel myself anymore, I stop loving myself caring about myself, and everyone started telling me, I have become so thin, my complexion are becoming dark, which I notice myself. I look at my hand and feel sorry about myself for not taking care of myself, but than, she is always around, I am so occupied by her thought missing her like a fool. Please help/suggest me way out from this trauma. I want to be myself once again feel myself and pamper myself. Thanking you so much in advance.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist47yrs exp

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This does not sound like a good situation if you pine for her so much. It does indicate that you did love her very much but that you do not love yourself as a result of the breakup is not good at all. You must never give of yourself so much especially during courtship. Have you analyzed why you two had this fallout? If it your fault, then apologize and see if she is amenable. If not you may have done something quite unforgivable. But you say you have lost so much of weight that it seems you have discovered that a heterosexual relationship is very different from normal relations. It is very intense, and the very thing that makes it attractive (the opposite sex and all its nuances), can also be its nemesis. You must learn what that difference was about your past relations and this particular one and find out how to live with a love relationship. There must be love, respect, commitment, honesty, trust, and freedom in the romantic scene. If however, this is final, then remove all associations of hers: gifts, notes, letters, cards, emails, and any reminders to get her out of your system, not just the mind. Keep the good memories but don?t indulge in them. Get back to your old pals and revive those contacts. Normally when we get a girl friend, we drop all our friends and live exclusively with her. This is not a good thing to do, generally. So do get back to them and get into good social circles. They will help you get over her. Do not talk ill or malign your ex to your friends, whatever was the reason. That is unfortunately a very bad habit many of us have ? we must still respect her reputation and treat her with dignity. Since this break up is so serious for you that suicidal thoughts are also plaguing you, do meet up with a counselor and talk about your feelings, openly. This is not the end of the world and she is not the only girl in life. You will find another but learn not to repeat the mistakes that led to the breakup. This time choose wisely and behave like a true gentleman. 

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