I need a counsel my life is full off pain and I don't know whom to trust all the doctors only need money here though I have parents and sister they doesn't understand my pain I want some one so that I can share my feeling I feel like dying? I losing my hope? I was betrayed by friends and my girl friend I don't have success in my life I helped many people stood near by them when had bad situation but no one care me now i am all alone. Please advise.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist47yrs exp

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You are just 21 and life has only begun and you already want to end it! You sound more and more like someone with a serious rejection issue. You try to do the best for other people so that they don?t reject you but yet they do. This means that you need to look at what you are doing to make others reject you. It has become so bad that I feel you are now rejecting yourself in contemplating suicide! You may be angry about something and because you think that it cannot be expressed, you are turning it inwards. The identity crisis is typical of someone who is dependent on others for acknowledgement and tends to identify with other personalities. You probably suffer from low self-esteem. But far worse than that is my fear that you have this rejection issue, which is compounded with abandonment issues and separation anxiety. The fear of acceptance may then trigger a performance-oriented individual who will depend entirely on other people?s opinion and assessment of himself. This will make you even more vulnerable and susceptible to rejection, and you may hurt very badly and easily at the slightest sign of rejection. There is a way about this, but meet with a counselor first and see what can be worked out to learn to accept yourself first. If you did this you will naturally perform well and will not depend on others, entirely, for their acceptance. If you know of any reason to believe that this rejection is true from your childhood it would help tremendously. Talk to your parents and find out what they remember or you could take them with you to meet with the counselor. If you learn to accept yourself first then the identity may be formed, but the best way to develop an identity is to know your emotions and how to express them. Your feelings are a very good indicator of who you are. A counselor will help you do this well. 

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