I have gone through break up 8 months ago. And I am mentally very upset. I am very much upset. What should I do to get normal again.

Question

I guess by upset you mean depressed. But for 8 months if you so upset then this relationship must have meant a lot to you. Breaking up is not easy, especially if the relationship lasted for a long time. But you will need to accept the reality and move on. This fixation on her must die out eventually. You must first exorcise her out of your mind. You can either do that by talking her out of your emotions first to a counselor and then starting on a new relationship by completely walking away from the past. You must express your bitterness and all the fond memories with the intention of purging her out the system. The professional will expertly guide you through the motion of exhaustively clearing away all memories along with the emotions so that you will be free of the ghosts of the past and are able to venture into new relationships. Once you have done that the memories will gradually fade away but the huge advantage you will have is that the emotions attached to those memories will be minus the energy of the feelings and they will become impotent. In the meantime I hope you have cleared your belongings and surroundings of all memories of this person; and also that you do not haunt the places and situations you used to visit. If she has ditched you, you must learn to forgive her for your own sake and live a life free of her eventually in the mind and then in the heart. She is now history, and has probably happily moved on. You need to be thankful that you were not betrothed to her when she dumped you: that would have been worse. And you need to learn not to give yourself to someone so much if the time was not ripe or suitable to do so. Now you should pitch yourself into a new relationship but do not focus too much into the serious end of the outcome but on the moment-to-moment development to see how it all unfolds to really enjoy that person. If you continue to cling on to her memories even after that, you may have some attachment problems too to explore with the counselor. To get out of the depression you must become active; stay upright during the daylight time; meet people; never sleep during the day, and wake up by 6 am every day, play some active games, especially contact games, do physical exercises, talk to people and join some social clubs, eat more of proteins and vegetables, attend Yoga classes etc. Watch a lot of sitcoms on TV or comedies and cheer yourself up. Go for excursions in groups, for outings, camps, conferences, and religious conventions. Get a pet dog and spend time training it, exercising it and relating to it. Expose yourself to some sunlight every day, at least 30 minutes but not in the scotching heat. I hope you can find someone to love and be loved soon. Whatever happens please incorporate these three important adaptations in your life: always be responsible, be respectful, and be functional. If you did these three things, lots of things will go well in life. Please pray and have faith in God to alleviate your sufferings. If you are still not relieved from the depression, then go first to a counselor.

Saul Pereira · Accepted Answer

I guess by upset you mean depressed. But for 8 months if you so upset then this relationship must have meant a lot to you. Breaking up is not easy, especially if the relationship lasted for a long time. But you will need to accept the reality and move on. This fixation on her must die out eventually. You must first exorcise her out of your mind. You can either do that by talking her out of your emotions first to a counselor and then starting on a new relationship by completely walking away from the past. You must express your bitterness and all the fond memories with the intention of purging her out the system. The professional will expertly guide you through the motion of exhaustively clearing away all memories along with the emotions so that you will be free of the ghosts of the past and are able to venture into new relationships. Once you have done that the memories will gradually fade away but the huge advantage you will have is that the emotions attached to those memories will be minus the energy of the feelings and they will become impotent. In the meantime I hope you have cleared your belongings and surroundings of all memories of this person; and also that you do not haunt the places and situations you used to visit. If she has ditched you, you must learn to forgive her for your own sake and live a life free of her eventually in the mind and then in the heart. She is now history, and has probably happily moved on. You need to be thankful that you were not betrothed to her when she dumped you: that would have been worse. And you need to learn not to give yourself to someone so much if the time was not ripe or suitable to do so. Now you should pitch yourself into a new relationship but do not focus too much into the serious end of the outcome but on the moment-to-moment development to see how it all unfolds to really enjoy that person. If you continue to cling on to her memories even after that, you may have some attachment problems too to explore with the counselor. To get out of the depression you must become active; stay upright during the daylight time; meet people; never sleep during the day, and wake up by 6 am every day, play some active games, especially contact games, do physical exercises, talk to people and join some social clubs, eat more of proteins and vegetables, attend Yoga classes etc. Watch a lot of sitcoms on TV or comedies and cheer yourself up. Go for excursions in groups, for outings, camps, conferences, and religious conventions. Get a pet dog and spend time training it, exercising it and relating to it. Expose yourself to some sunlight every day, at least 30 minutes but not in the scotching heat. I hope you can find someone to love and be loved soon. Whatever happens please incorporate these three important adaptations in your life: always be responsible, be respectful, and be functional. If you did these three things, lots of things will go well in life. Please pray and have faith in God to alleviate your sufferings. If you are still not relieved from the depression, then go first to a counselor.