I am 27 years old male and I was having panic attacks and anxiety issues in last 4 months due to some problems with my girl friend. My voice was gone during these attacks many times and I started shaking and my heart beats fast. After having these attacks, i'd started verbal violence with my girl friend like abusing. I don't know how I came up with these. Now I want to know that can panic attacks and anxiety issues lead to violence and abusive nature. My girl friend has been left me. I've tried everything for her forgiveness but I didn't get her forgiveness. I want to know that these panic attacks and anxiety issues can lead me to abusive nature. Please help me. Your reply can save my life.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist46yrs exp

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I think that your anxiety, which is fear based, irritates you easily and gets you angry. In other words, the anger/irritation is an escalation over the fear. This is not advisable and it is happening because you are not dealing well with the anxiety. Anger is a cover-up feeling for the fear, and people may mistakenly respond to the anger whilst the scare remains unresolved and it may also increase because of the discomfort you have caused to others with the anger! this is why you have been behaving irritable and have now managed to push your girlfriend away for good. About the issue itself: do you know if this is a family trait, or is the family by anyways less to socialize, or have you had any problem with fear because of some family or childhood experience? have you ever been embarrassed in public by someone that it has left an indelible mark in your personality? you can take the answers to these questions to a counselor and resolve the same. Anyway, you must deal with your fear. In the meantime do some confidence building exercises by attending a personality development course, public speaking skills course (i suggest you join the toastmasters club), work out at a gym to build good self-image, and join social events to practice your skills. Surprisingly many people are often in the same boat as you, and so you are not alone. The very people you are intimidated by may be afraid of you too! there are three important developments to have to make an autonomous personality: awareness, intimacy, and spontaneity. If you are super aware or too conscious of yourself, it will affect the intimacy and spontaneity. Although your problem is now directly to do with intimacy, you can see that they are all connected. Go and work on these matters with a counselor for this level of social anxiety to disappear from your life for good. 

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