I am 34 year old male married married for the last five years and having a kid of 3 years . My terms with my wife are getting worser resulting to verbal and sometimes severeverbal exchange thereby affecting the child. So I am staying aloof in another rented hostel to avoid my parents who are in support of my wife and I feel that staying aloof may help my child not to witness such drastic environment. Please suggest as of what can I do to over come this mental stress since staying away from my kid is a very tough job for me.

Ms. M Sri Vidhya VenkatesanPsychologist17yrs exp

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Hi lybrate-user, marital problem is something which most of the couple face these days. Do not worry, you love your child, then you have to sacrifice certain things for your child sake. I will suggest certain tips that you need to follow. First of all your problem is very simple to solve. First when verbal argument arises please leave that place and relax yourself outside say relative house, driving or a movie come back home after 2 or 3 hours. Do not take verbal comments seriously deep into you from your wife. Just let it go, let your wife scream, if it is more serious leave her alone go out and come after 2 to 3 hours. Secondly, as days go on buy what your wife likes, give her surprises, express your love through greeting, surprises and when you find her in a happy mood take her out say a restaurant and discuss and both of them come to an agreement to adjust and give up certain thing to make your life happy for both of you and to your child. I would say she would definitely adjust and accept your suggestions to lead an happy life. Do not tease or comment your wife. Try to praise her lot, even if it is wrong. Do not allow verbal argument turn into a quarrel, before that you leave your wife alone and make her understand that you love her also. She will also love you in turn. Best wishes msv. 

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