Hello doctor, Am married but its my 2nd marriage. I don?t have any family support. Now am 8 months pregnant. I and my husband crossed many problems in life. But we stabilised every problem. Suddenly I found my husband mind get diversion towards his old college mate. I already warned him that his mind diversion is not good. But he didn?t listen what I said. My husband has 9 year old girl child from his first wife. So he has to take care of that child too. I guess he feel tired of taking care of us. He is gong behind his girl friend. Early, she sent seduced videos and messages. His girl friend has 2 female kids. She is living in abroad. She came here last month. My husband went to her place and they both met each other. They tried to do physical contact. But situations didn?t allow them to go any privacy place. I and my husband had severe fight and argument. I come to know he want to leave us and he want to marry her. But that girl not ready to marry him. Because she is too rich. She is not ready to take risk in her children life. But definitely my husband cannot give good life to her. She knows all trues from our end. She need good companion to share her feelings. She was his ex lover. Past 2.5 months my family life spoiled. I could?t complain to anyone. If I do anything he ll do worse. Its very easy to get separate. Now problem is she don?t need him. Because he is trying to get her in his life which is not possible. I don?t know how to recover him from his illogic wish. Now his mind full of her thoughts. Always he is chatting and speaking. He is begging her for life. I don?t know how he is taking this kind of decisions and escaping from reality. Last week he told, he has to go sabari malai. I don?t know its true or not. 2 days back he told, he wants to stay with his friend home. Also he told he ll get back here 2 days. May be he ll come today or this week end. But as per his statement he told, after get salary he has to go to his native and do some procedures to go sabari malai. Also he told, he can not stay here for 1.5 months. I seriously could?t believe his any of things right now. I seriously have many doubts whether he want to stay away from me or really he is going to sabari malai I don?t know. Do ctor please advice me how to handle this. What is his mindset right now? How to recover him from this? I need my life back. Am nearing to my delivery. January last week my due date. At this situation he is leaving from here. Am so scare of everything.
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It appears you are in a bad situation especially because you do not have any other support. So the only alternative is to wait and see what happens eventually with this relationship and that if that girl is unwilling to get married to him, he is in a severe spot. If you did anything now, you may actually push him towards her further. There is no guarantee in all this anyway. Further more you are pregnant and any stress, which I know you are undergoing now, will affect the unborn child both psychologically and physically. So it is important to keep yourself as calm as possible under the circumstances by Yoga and meditation, especially in a group[ situation. I think that he is lying to you and is trying desperately to win that girl over. Thankfully she is not receptive and hopefully that will continue like that. If you know of any elder he respects and will listen to that person, you may involve that person. If not you can take him to a marriage counselor (if he comes, that it) and in that process certain directives may be initiated. Under normal circumstances I would have told you to file for divorce but you seem so dependent on him that he is so daring in his attempt to pursue this relationship with this girl. So think about all this and either give it time to and hope that that girl will reject him, or take some strong action, if you can garner some support from somewhere, especially financially.
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Dear Sasi , Thanks for the query, please Don't take any type of stress at this point,it will be harmful for you and baby.talk with your husband with cool mind and ask his opinion.its time that you must consider for any step,involve your in laws and your family in this matter if things will go like this it will create problem in your married life.As you have said there are strong chances that may be for some time he may live with her but this is doubtful whether this will last longer.upto your delivery ask from your inlaws side to come and live there upto your delivery if possible. May be in there pressure he may not go somewhere with her.but its very important that he should away from her.take care.
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