2-3 months ago I had depression and suicidal thoughts, suicidal thoughts were very frequent and I started cutting my skin in hand and I also attempted suicide once by cutting my wrist and got 4 stitches. But after some days these thoughts were not coming frequently. 1 or 2 times in a week, but now my depression is relapsing and suicidal thoughts are also coming again. I am afraid that I would harm myself again. Please help me.
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You should seek professional help immediately. At such a young age to have suicidal tendencies and having acted on them already indicates some serious problems. You will need to meet with a doctor too. You do not mention any reasons for the depression or suicide but it definitely is an anger-related depression. You are a suicide attempter. However, at some time the attempt can so wrong that arresting or getting out of the attempt may not be possible and that could be the end. You need to immediately meet with a psychiatrist and get into medicines and also therapy. Please do not neglect the latter, as that is very essential in the combination for the successful recovery from this condition. The urgency is so much that you are a danger to yourself right now. Please keep in someone’s company continuously until adequate help and intervention is in place. Inform your parents and seek the medical intervention instantly. Life is indeed very precious, and you are young. There is so much to do in life and so many challenges to face that giving up is a huge waste of a gift opportunity given to you by God. Are you religious or spiritual? Faith in God is extremely important to appreciate life, to preserve it, and to nurture it, always. I know that you would love for someone to take charge of your life but I don’t know if you have someone willing to do so right now in as much as you need it. Even so, take personal responsibility, be active about your recovery and cooperate with everything you are told to do, at least by the professionals. Your parents and family must take more responsibility in supervising you on a day-to-day basis.
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You seem to be suffering from Borderline Personality or Emotionally unstable personality. The cause is unknown but research suggests there is an interaction between adverse life events and genetic factors. Neurobiological research suggests that abnormalities in the frontolimbic networks are associated with many of the symptoms There is a pattern of sometimes rapid fluctuation from periods of confidence to despair, with fear of abandonment and rejection. There is a particularly strong tendency towards suicidal thinking and self-harm. Transient psychotic symptoms, including brief delusions and hallucinations, may also be present. It is also associated with substantial impairment of social, psychological and occupational functioning and quality of life. People with emotionally unstable personality disorder are particularly at risk of suicide. Its course is variable and, although many people recover over time. Kindly consult a psychiatrist for remedy.
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