How to control my emotions ,every time I think about my situation it gives more n more pain to me. Presently everything is normal I feel scared .I know that as time goes on everything will back to normal but whenever I discuss this with my boyfriend either that time he is scared or angry or emotional or me how to control myself how to overcome it.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist46yrs exp

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You have a nervous disposition based on extreme fear. This may have originated sometime during childhood but it probably got activated during adolescence, looking for a resolution. Since it was not handled or resolved, it will continue to trouble you for a long time. You seem to get close to panic attacks, especially if there is a social situation and expectation. Talk to your parents and ask them, if they remember any incident or events in childhood that may have been the cause for your nervousness. Then take them and visit a psychiatrist and describe all the symptoms and your life history. S/he may want to know the family history up to three generations to further investigate the genetic contribution too. Please follow the prescription strictly. Meanwhile do get counseling along with the medication. You must eat healthy food, sleep well, and exercise regularly. Do a personality development course, and attend a Toastmasters club near you to develop your public speaking skills. Check with your doctor for any vitamin deficiency. Your emotions are not to be controlled. They are to be in fact expressed every time and as soon as possible. You will need to control your behavior around the feeling. The more your feelings are expressed the better balance you will be in. If you read a book entitled, Emotional Intelligence’ by Daniel Goleman you will understand how expressing feelings actually improve your performance and well being, including your intelligence. There is no exception to expressing feelings. The only exception is when the feeling is so inappropriate. Many times because we want to look good and do not want to offend others, we cover up our emotions. When you do this, the emotion will find a favorite organ and express itself into that organ and lead to its malfunction or total dysfunction. Sometimes you may have to even remove the organ. So emotions can give life or even take it. The solution: always express your feelings in appropriate ways. 

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