I live in hostel. I don't have a single friend neither in college nor in hostel. Due to this I feel so alone. I go anywhere whether for shopping or even for any meal in restaurant alone. Everybody is just staring on me that I always come alone and I don't have any friend. I don't know how to talk to people and make friends. I don't have any topic to conversation with anyone .if sometime I have others will not take it any interest and don't give any attention to it. I am just fed up to sit alone and not expel even a single word from my mouth. Due to this my juniors are also respect me. N I feel so inferior. My confidence also become very low. I don't want to go college due to this. My study is suffering. No outings. Just be in room. My life is totally shattered. What to do. I don't know.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist46yrs exp

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To really understand your problem in its totality, is to go back home to your family of origin to trace some of the genesis of your problems. You may ignore all my assessments for want of complete evidence, and that is okay. I am not the world’s perfect diagnostic man, nor do I boast of knowing it all. So feel free to take what appeals and dump the rest in the garbage can. In my opinion, I think that your problem lies in the fear of rejection. This rejection is usually founded in your family of origin, and is somewhat manifest in some descriptions you have given already. This is not to find fault in your parents: they may have done a lot of things with good intentions but may have inadvertently set up rejection. If you go way back, and see if there was any rejection prenatally or postnatally (again all this with intention or without), the child will pick up the sensation or feel like she is not wanted or even rejected. As you can see, I am presuming all this. You will have to give it substance, if you so have the substance. Without reaching to any conclusions, just indulge in this thought to see if there is any semblance of truth to explore it further. Your parents may throw light on this but don’t share too much of what I saying until it has been verified. Also find out, if there was an abortion or miscarriage before or after you were born. Whether you were wanted by both parents at birth. Whether they expected a male child and were disappointed that you were a girl. How long were you breast-fed by mom etc? These will all throw some light on my proposal of rejection, if there is any truth. Find out why people are neglecting you. Are you doing something to cause this? There must be a way you behave or present yourself that they are choosing to neglect you. Once you have identified that, change that behavior in you. Before you do so ask yourself, do you love yourself first of all? I suspect that there may be a problem of self-acceptance and self-love. If you don’t love yourself, then you may depend on others too much for the love you need. Inevitably, they will reject you or at least neglect you. You could be suffering from the rejection issue from which all these outcomes will be activated. This is how social priorities are normally set: first you love god, then yourself sufficiently, and then others. If you are full of appropriate love, you will attract others’ love by default. As easy as that!!! Get the help of a counselor too. 

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