I need psychological help. I don't know whether these are the symptoms of depression or not, but I feel so that I am getting depressed day by day. I feel sad, I always cry. Sometimes I feel like I want to commit something wrong but then I control myself. Yes I am in a relationship and we fight. But then whenever this situation comes where we fight, I get very weak. I cry a lot, can't sleep till 5 am and when I sleep. I sleep too late. Infact I sleep a bit too much. I feel that I am a lonely person, I feel isolated. Whenever I get to smile for a reason, I get scared along with. So that I do not get to cry again at the end of the day. Sometimes I want to cry my heart out, I want to cry out loud, but I can't. Yes I have self harmed many a times. Please help me out.
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Depression occurs when low mood, decreased energy, decreased pleasure, sleep and appetite disturbances, pessimistic and suicidal thoughts, inability to concentrate etc are present for atleast 2 weeks for most part of that day and the symptoms should be hampering your family, social or occupational life. Your history is not sufficient for diagnosis. But depression/ adjustment disorder/ personality disorder are possibility.
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You are into an anger-related depression. The events in your life could easily trigger it but you could have some other reasons from your background to become the cause. You must go and meet with a counselor immediately and if that person advises that you meet with a doctor you must do so and cooperate to your utmost. Please visit these professionals along with your parents. In the meantime please do the following sincerely because you could resolve the problem better with good cooperation: Have a good night’s sleep, have a good breakfast of more proteins, meditate often, remain free of stress, eat a lot of fiber, nuts, avocado, exercise regularly, eat dark chocolate, do Yoga meditation exercises, etc. I suggest you do the opposite of what this depression makes you feel like doing (actually, not doing): you will need to fight this condition. You must become active; stay upright during the daylight time; meet people; never sleep during the day, wake up by 6 am every day, play some active games, especially contact games, do physical exercises, talk to people and join some social clubs, attend Yoga classes etc. Watch sitcoms on TV or comedies and cheer yourself up. Go for excursions in groups, for outings, camps, conferences, and religious conventions. Get a pet dog and spend time training it, exercising it and relating to it. Expose yourself to some sunlight every day, at least, 30 minutes but not in the scorching heat. Whatever happens, please incorporate these three important adaptations in your life: always be responsible, be respectful, and be functional. If you did these three, lots of things will go well in life. Please pray and have faith in God to alleviate your sufferings. Don’t wait for others to help. Use your own motivation, which might be at its lowest, but persevere and win this battle. Above all to be really happy, you need to live in love and for love. Learn all about emotions and how to handle them and that will get you out of the depression rather easily and quickly. A counselor is there only to facilitate you, all the hard word must come from you, and your cooperation with that person is very critical for your success. Be positive every day and learn to be contented with what you have. Do some left brain exercises: it is the happy brain. Here are a few suggestions: shut your left nostril and breathe, move your eyes from right to left and vice versa for at least half a minute at a time, and do calisthenic exercises with some form of counting, regularly. Whatever happens please cooperate with the therapy and do not discontinue until the condition is completely resolved.
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If you fight more than what is called normal and it seems like you are the only one who is being hurt, then you may need to get out of this relationship. These are the signs of a toxic relationship. This may sound harsh to you but you have to get out of this situation if you are continuously feeling isolated or lonely. There is nothing more important than your mental peace and physical health. These things are not worth your precious time and precious life. You only live once so you better make sure that everyday you live is in a beautiful state. Start having some respect for yourself and feel blessed for the life and family you are given. Don't cry over these things because your parents haven't raised you to this day with so much love to see you in pain and agony. Start taking control of your life and day. Just keep telling yourself that you only live once and start appreciating this wonderful life. You are a beautiful soul and a beautiful person so you should be treated with the same care and respect like everyone else. At the end of the day, only you are responsible for your state. No one can hurt you without your consent. Don't keep the key of your happiness in someone else's pocket. Stay blessed!
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