Hi doctor! Hope so im sharing my concern to a psychiatrist! I'm 26 years old female. For past 7 months I have been in severe guilty conscious and the stress has increased so much feeling bad of myself. Let me tell you about me first, I'm a well educated girl from respectable family with loving and more affectionate mom and dad. I'm open minded but stick to the values and ethics. Im a person who wants to be true and pure (physically and mentally) Now the problem I'm undergoing is, all my ethics and values have been lost due to the past relationships, where I thought the relationship was true, but I was ditched. I was in relationship with one for 2.5 yrs, everything was going good but as usual many misunderstandings came because of friends between me and him, many arguments. So I thought both life needs to be good in future, so I broke with him.(we were physically close, but don't cross the limits, Im virgin) After all the mental pains I went through for 6.5 months,my Ex was still insisting that we will go for another try, but as I was already frustrated with what happened, I dint change my mind. After 6 months my Ex told that he is in contact with one of our common friend and that girl is back of him and he too went for that girl because of frustration I have. Though I was not ready to take him because of fear. I wanted him to come back leaving all doubts. But when I got to know that he got committed to another one, I was completely shattered to pieces! Meanwhile I got introduced to a guy in my training and he was back of me, told like I don't want anything about your past, I want to be with you in future. First I was not convinced due to having past experience and feeling towards him. After one month, I made my mind that life should go on and it should not get stagnated. And accepted with heavy heart after seeing his acts and behaviour towards me and we fell in love. I was very true to him. I told I want some time to come out of my past, he accepted for that. Everything was fine, but later after one month he told there is no future for us! I wondered he is confused and time wil heal everything. We continued talking and meeting. We were physically? close too (same here, dint cross the limits, I'm a still a virgin) Things dint change up even after 3 months. After training was over, I got to know he is relationship with another girl. Again broke into pieces. I felt like ditched and cheated to core. I was moving with my guilt of being physically close! I believed him and my Ex also, so I gave them space. But things changed. After few months I got to know that my Ex broke up that girl because he had intense feeling on me and some family problem from girl side for their marriage. Later we both started speaking and I told him what and all happened, he dint believe that I will do so and go for another one. He felt very bad and scolded that fellow over phone. We had and have love for each other, but because of past arguments and fights I started away. Now he is ready to take me even after knowing that I was close Intimate with that fellow. But he feels more bad and thinks A lot about it. I being more touched with self-conscience. My mind is not to ready to take what and all happened. And I don't want his (my Ex) life to be filled with memories that I was intimate with another fellow lifelong. Now my mind is full of guilt, guilt and only guilt! I'm feeling like going back to Ex who accepts after knowing all the things. Ready to speak with parents. Is not good for both our future, As the thoughts will ruin our both future! He is a person who strongly thinks about what and all happened and use to worry for it and in anger he will tell all those things and fight without knowing. This will ruin both our lives. I'm having so much guilt and feeling so sick and bad! I feel like I crossed my boundaries and made myself fall in well! Please help me out of this! thanks doctor.