Hello Doctors. I am really embarrassed to ask this question but I really need help. I am 25 years old and I am married. I love my husband a lot and I follow all what he says. I am completely loyal to him, completely devoted. My husband doesn't say that he loves me or not, he never says that he is devoted but he gives me gifts and helps me when I need. The problem is I don't enjoy sex with him, I mean I am afraid of having sex with him. It happened because he just ask me to give him oral and then he leaves me. Earlier when I got married tab mujhe unki ye aadat se bura ni lagta tha. I infact started to enjoy doing it later but fir there-there isse mujhe irritation hone lagta as giving oral to him excites me but he leaves me starved. I tried to tell him all but wo ye sb baat sunna hi ni chahte hain. Once it happened that he himself came to me and asked me all my sexual needs and desires, I was the happiest that day that he cares but now the case is the worst. Now whenever he finds me enjoy any of his sexual act toh wo turant uss act ko rok dete hai and he leaves me alone like that on bed, he now intentionally never touches me there jahaan mujhe asa lagta ho. Or if I beg him to do so then just for once he touches me and removes his hand, it makes me even mad, it sucks my mental peace like hell. I love him and I can never think of divorce or separation or having an extramarital affair with some other man, jabki ye aaj k date mei kaafi normal hai and main bhi bhaut open-minded larki rahi hu but I can never ever think of any other man touching as I think it is a sin and it would my husbands feelings. I consider myself as only his woman. I just enjoy his hugs and touches but things are not happening. Please suggest me what should I do.
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I can understand the amount of frustration and irritation you are feeling. This is serious emotional, mental, physical and sexual abuse. It appears one-sided marital love affair. The only solution which I suggest is that you sit-down with him and have a clear one to one open-hearted interaction about the things you feel. Basically by and large awareness/knowledge about sexuality comes from hearsay guidance and porn/internet, which is below par and substandard, leading to dissatisfaction in marital/Sexual lives in India. Now if he is prepared to understand your concern or even if not prepared, in both situations you need (either alone or with your husband) to have an open-hearted interaction with an expert in marriage and sexuality for quality guidance and support. You can contact me via Lybrate either in person or online for direct face to face Interaction. Such situations are pretty common India then otherwise thought to be. Solutions are available, All the best.
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