I am a 21 year old female. I've been in therapy for depression for the past few months. I don't feel like it's making me better but it's definitely making me more aware of my depressive symptoms than before. Anxiety, panic disorder, excessive sleeping, borderline personality disorder, suicidal tendencies, low self esteem are some of my issues. I'm on a lot of medication for all of the above. I take multiple medicines thrice a day. I think medication is not the solution here because these are lifelong problems (so I've been told). I used to think I could just cure it but I can't. I feel so helpless right now. I don't feel like I'm in control of my own emotions anymore. What should I do? I've been in online therapy for 5 months now but it feels like a lot. I can't afford the time for in-person therapy. It's hard for me to connect to my therapist and I'm on my third therapist now. I feel like I need someone who understands me, provides me intelligent solutions and has time and patience. That's so hard to find. I'm ranting now. Bye. Please help me with your suggestions. I eat healthy and exercise.