When my daughter died I didn't cry. From that day till now I cry every day when I remember her. It happens with me many times, I cry fir small small things and remain silent at big misfortune. Why does this happen? Am I going through depression?

Ms. Meeta VermaPsychologist10yrs exp

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Hi, I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. The loss of a child is one of the most difficult life experiences to go through and it takes a lot to come to terms with. Others around us get busy with their lives after the initial few days but for us, life seems to have changed forever, clearly divided into a before and after. Not only do we lose a child, we also lose all the hopes and aspirations we had for them and the future and it can be really painful. We feel different from others at times and don't know how to relate to them when they all seem happy and busy with their lives. Very often others tell us to move on, put it behind us, get busy etc and it just doesn't help. You haven't mentioned how old she was and how long ago this unfortunate event happened. I feel you haven't been able to give your self time to process the grief or share your feelings with someone close to you. It would be helpful if you could connect with a psychologist in your area and share your feelings, talk about them openly. There may be a lot of pain inside that needs expression. You can also find some way to celebrate or commemorate her life like sharing her favourite food with neighbourhood children or at an NGO, lighting a candle everyday in her memory, putting flowers in front of her picture, talking to her picture, writing all your thoughts or feelings in a diary, or anything else that she liked which you could do in her memory which feels meaningful to you. Please take care, give yourself the permission to slow down, focus on just the important everyday tasks of living. Don't pressurize or be hard on yourself and gradually as you find the strength to move forward, you'll find yourself being able to do so. My best wishes and prayers are with you.  

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