Sir, mai ek chhote se town se belong krti hu. Maine PG kr rakhe. Bt iska use n kr payi. Mai school nd college time me padhai me achhi thi. Or kuch lyf me kr dikhane ki desire v the. Bt fmly me prblm ki wjh se mera padhne ka or kuch krne ka desire sb dheere dheere khatm hota chala gya. Depression ne mujhe jakad liya .koshis to kari maine bt us koshis me wo ziddipn n tha .iska mujhe ahsas h.post graduate kiye 6 saal ho gye .bt mai kuch n kr payi siwaye ek private school me teaching k.ghr ka environment itna kharab tha kii subh niklti to raat ko ghr aate wqt dil rota tha. Ek dar hmesa mn me hota tha. Ghr se dur jane ko sochti thi. Fir 2016 k September mnth me nikli delhi ko. Waha mere bde bhai k pas is umeed se kii ghr k tension se bahar nikl kr apne bhule armaan pure karungi. Bhut sapne le kr gyii. Bt waha v mai kuch n kr payi. Jo mushkile ghr ko chhod k aayi wo ek nye rup me mujhe waha mili. Fir se mai depression ki shikar ho gyi. Khud ko khtm krne ki sochne lgi. Lga is duniya me mera apna koi nhii. Mai bilkl akeli hu. Padhai me gap hone ki wjh se mai sb kuch bhul gyi thi. Waha pe mantly distrb ho gyi. Lga jaise yaha bhai k pas aa kr galti kr di maine. Job dhundha bt usse mai or nakhush thi dusri job dhundhi socha kii bhai k hlp se sikh lungi kaam jldi. Bt pahle hi din bhai ne mujhe demotivate kr diya or job chhodne ko v kah diye. Shyd sahi v kaha. Meri wjh se koi loss kyu sahe. Waqai me mere se waha aisi glti ho jati jo ek bachha v nhi kr sakta. Office k depression ghr ka depression bhai ka .ye sb .zindgi nakaamil lgne lgi mujhe. Fir mujhe ek prson se mulaqat hui. Jaha mai bnking ki preparation krti thi wahi teaching krte the. Use pahcha hui ,baat shuru ,fir usne mujhe propose kiya. Pahle maine mna kr diya. Fir convince kiya. Socha is bde shahar me mujhe v kisi ki sath ki jrurt h.so fir hmari baat aage badhi. N chahte huye v mai kareeb hote gyi usse .is bich bhai se alg hi. Pg me rahi. Fir kuch samay baad pg v chhodna pda. Usne mujhe sath rahne ka offr diya. Mn me ek dar v tha or ek aas v kii sath rahkr mujhe kuch sikhne ko milega. Bt sath rahna mere lye musibt bn gyi. Paya to kuch nhi bg apna sb use samrpit krte chali gyii. Usne mujhe ye ykin dilaya ki mai hi ab uski zindgi me shaamil houngi koi or nhi. 2 saal huye hmare relationship ko. Shaadi krne ko v hm taiyar the .bt prblm thi hmari fmly. Usne kaha ki meri fmly ko koi prblm n hogi ek bar kahunga wo maan jayenge. Meri fmly me prblm thi. Fr v maine baat ki apni fmly se. Usne v mere bare me baat. Avi mai baat kr hi rahi thi kii usne kaha ki uski fmly kahi or baat chala rahi h kisi or ladki se. Wo gornmnt job me or fmly me job wali ladki aa rahi. Jbki mai uske sath hi rahi thi. Mai dukhi ho gyi. Maine usse kaha kii plzz apni fmly ko mnao. Bt yaha to ye hua kii wo mere sath ho kr us ladki se contact badha raha tha. Us ladki ko ye kaha kii wo kvi kisi ladki k chakkr me nhi pada. Or v baate btayi khud ko achha bnane k lye. Maine jb uski chating read kii. Us samay mujhe kuch v nhi sujha. Maine us ladki ka contact no. Liya or us ladki ko call kr sb bta diya uske or mere relationship k bare me. Ye baat jankr ladki ne ye sari baat ladke ki fmly ko bta diya. Jb ladka ko ye baat pata chali to wo mujhse naraz ho gya or kahne lga kii tumhe btana hi tha to meri fmly ko btate us ladki ko nhi. Tumne meri fmly ki ijjat le li. Lekin sach kahu. Mai aisa kvi nhi chahti thi. Bt usne mujhe cheat kiya ye mai sahan n kr payi. Aaj wo mujhse baat nhi krta. Or kahta kii mijhse nafrat krta h.mai aaj v usi ki hona chahti hu. Socha tha kii koi to mujhe pyaar krne wala mila h.bt isne v mujhe usi dorahe pe lakar fake diya. Jaha se n aage badh pa rahi or laut kr aa v nhi sakti. Mai kisi or k bare soch v nhi pa rahi. Kaise usse khud ko alg karu. Mai khud ko pagal krti ja rahi hu. Apni is dasha pe khud rona aa raha. Zindgi se jyda mout bhali lg rahi. Suicide v nhi kr pa rahi. Aage study krne ki or mind ko consitrt nhi kr pa rahi. Plzz meri madad kare. Bilkl tut chuki hu mai. Mai ye sari baate kisi se kah v nhi sakti. Jisse kahungi savi mujhe hi bura bhala kahenge. Mai or jyda depression me chali jaungi. Plzzz help. Help me. I need your support. Usse baat krne k lye mai tadapti rahti hu. Usne mera no block kr diya. N chahti hu use call krna n msg krna. Bt nhi rok pati. Khud ko. Khud ki value puri trh khatm kr chuki hu. Ekdm besharm ki trh fr use dusre no se call krti hu. Mai kyaa karu. Khud ko khatm kr lu. Mai apne aap se pareshan ho chuki hu. Mere maa papa v mere se dukhi h.svi ki dukh ki wjh bn gyi hu mai. Bt mera dukh koi nhi smjh raha. Galti sari meri hi h. Avi mai jis situation ko face kr rahi hu .is waqt hr pal mere mind me suicide ka hi khyaal aate rahte h.bs kisi trh meri maut ho jaye. Or koi wjh v nhi kii mai apne mind se mrne ka khyaal nikal feku. Mai depression me medicine ki overdose leni shuru kr dihu. Mujhetb or thyroid ki prblm h.mai kuch nhi kr pa rahi.