I am an 20 year boy, and I am suffering from a shock I just had due to breaking down of a long relationship with one of loved one. And I can not have the strength of gaining control in mind that how should I move on to a better place.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist46yrs exp

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It will take some time to deal with this break up but if you did some of the things suggested here you could do it within 6 months, if the relationship was very intense. It seems that you are angry about the breakup and it will make you easily irritable. You must talk about the breakup until it is exhausted out of the system. Get rid of all reminders of this person and completely cleanse your life and system off of this individual. It is very hard when breakups happen and getting back to normal life can be quite difficult. However, it does not help if you push other people away by your irritability: they are your support system even if they are not the understanding types. There is no need for you to get into any relationship right now. Wait for some time and after you have dealt well with the breakup, you will be in a better position to be somewhat objective. Otherwise, you will carry all the baggage from the previous relationship (especially issues that remain unresolved) into the new relationship and will make many comparisons and judgments and projections with the new fellow quite, unfairly. You will just have a series of breakups and end up depressed. There is no hurry but do resolve the problems that cropped up in the previous courtship. Rectify them and you can then explore other friendships. If you don?t have a confidante to speak to, then meet with a relationship counselor and talk extensively. Sometimes you will be shocked that you even befriended such a person, if you sort out all the problems, first. 

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