How should I deal with my father? Actually he is very male-dominated person, he thinks that he know every thing (he is only 8th passed). He is very cheap person too as he stares at" females" cheaply and he fought with me and my mother very aggressively whenever he comes home after drinking (he is a baptized Sikh), he even consumes illegal drugs, he acts very badly and uses abusive words. He fight with us in very high volume and with this neighbors peek out from their homes and see. He thinks that in home the members especially" female members" like me and my mother are not supposed to argue with the main member of the family. Due to lot of arguments in my home, I can't concentrate on my studies which is resulting in bad results. What should I do, please guide me.
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Hi there ~ thank you for asking help for your father over this online forum. 1. Your father needs help with alcohol since he gets into trouble (becomes aggressive) when he drinks alcohol. He needs to visit with an addictions counselor or a psychiatrist. 2. He also has problems with other illegal drugs and therefore needs rehabilitation very much and it would be appreciated if you would get him to a nearest rehab center. 3. His behavioral issues may be independent of the addictions however you will know this only when he is not on any illegal drugs or alcohol. 4. Since it is affecting your studies, if your father is not in a position to understand this fact and cooperate with treatment, I recommend that you and your mother seek alternate routes (help from asha workers, local social help groups, welfare fora) to get out of the situation to be able to do well in your academics. Hope this helps. Take care and have a lovely day!
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What you describe is a very addictive personality and almost without exception you as his child will suffer from what is known as Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome. There are about 32 issues you will be afflicted with because of this, and you will also carry a genetic inheritance for alcoholism. The combination of drugs and alcohol will lead to a chronic state. Before that happens you can take these measures. There are some rehabilitation centers that will come home and take him by force when he is highly intoxicated and admit him for detoxification and rehabilitation. This will of course require your mom?s approval and signed consent. This is better than suffering with all the ignominy currently and it is better to take effective measures, even if you are wrong, than to remain idle. For yourself, you can ask to be admitted into a boarding house or hostel or paying guest until you complete your studies. These are effective measures, and will definitely produce results and never feel embarrassed because you are suffering a lot of shame living like this.
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