My daughter age 24, is having severe and untimely pain in arms and legs from past 20-25 days, yesterday there was pain in hand only and spinal area on her back, in hand pain accompanied with temperature gain in arms and head and when pain disappear it becomes cold. She just married last year in may and her in-laws behavior is not good, she is very much mentally disturb, her husband do not say any thing but does not oppose his family for wrong things which disturb her. Please suggest what good can be done and what medical problem she might be having ? please help

Mr. P. RajanPsychologist26yrs exp

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My answer to the first part of your question is, your daughter has to consult a general physician in order to rule out typhoid fever, malarial infection, jaundice, anemia or even dengue fever, because all the symptoms you mentioned here are few of the symptoms of such conditions. My answer to the second part of your question is, it is very very common in our country, adjustment problems with in-laws and husband's ignorance in such things. Almost every newly married woman has to face these kind of problems. The problem may be your daughter's incompetence to manage that emotionally. There is a chance for her pain behaviors arising from her unconscious mind crying for help to escape from this stressful situation. Ask her to be positive in her approach towards the in-laws, looking into and praising the positive aspects of them. And it is good her husband remains neutral without torturing her to obey his family members like many others do. Her stress tolerance will develop once she gets children and be busy with child-rearing practices and other future plannings with her husband. If she does not complain about her problems with in-laws, her husband may turn positive towards her in course of time. Until then, you can help her as a patient listener to her problems without giving any judgments or negative comments on anybody, which can give her ventilate her bottled-up emotions leading to relaxation to some extent. 

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