Yes, I am aware about my problem (even according to a psychiatrist also, I am suffering from schizoaffective disorder - but not medical diagnosis provided). I have to control it in a proper way. Medicines are not a perfect solution for mental health. I have to work on my own, through my own will-power and positive thoughts. I will not depend on the medicines and will not make it a habit for future. Yes, I started to take the psychiatric medicines on 2nd january 2021 and stopped it on 19th february 2021 by tapering as advised by psychiatrist. I was taking escitalopram and olanzapine for depression, anxiety, mild trichotillomania, bipolar 1 disorder (most recent episode), moderate cluster b traits, grandiose delusions, odd eccentric belief, premorbid rigidity, anhedonia, non pervasive low mood and mood swings. And in total I had undergone 27 counselling/psychotherapy sessions. Also I completed (in total) 8 weeks of computerized cognitive behavioural therapy. Also, my parents are aware of my problem (they got to know by my college principal) I feel that the thought of antidepressants increase serotonin is theoretical but it's side-effects are confirmed in the sense after stopping antidepressants/antipsychotic, relapse of mood disorder could occur in a severe way.
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If you are not going to use the medication, it is going to be very tough. In that case, you will need to not only work with a counselor but also do a lot of lifestyle changes as advised by a CBT therapist, and completely comply with all the expectations. My recommendation is for you to not rush coming off of the medication right now. The combination of medication with the therapy is ideal and the prognosis will be relatively good. Oftentimes, there can be overlapping symptoms and conditions between several pathologies at the same time that the whole thing might appear more confusing. By yourself, it is very difficult to see and discern the right courses of action. The schizoid affective disorder has an overlap of schizophrenia and bipolar where the one can be used to cover up the other depending on which is more difficult to handle. In therapy, you can be helped to identify the difference and accordingly use tools to deal with the situation.
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