My boyfriend cheated me 4 years ago. But I still cannot get over it. Day by day I am going into depression. I am in a new relationship now. But I still cannot forget my past. Can you please help me?

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist46yrs exp

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Either you were too much into that relationship and were let down rather badly or you trusted him too much that his straying in the relationship has hurt you very badly. In both instances, you are better off of having learned about it before you committed to marriage: just imagine what it would have been if you were married to him and this happened! God works in wonderful ways and you need to be thankful. The other matter you need to take into account is that not all people are reliable, dependable and can be trusted. This is not to mean that there is no one trustworthy. There are people and people, some of whom can be trusted. Also do not take everything too much to heart: there may have been some a very difficult situation that provoked this situation. What if you were in a similar situation, would you want your boyfriend to forgive you? So these are some ways to get the entire experience out of your system and move on with your current relationship by giving it your all if the trust factor is proven. Take some serious learning from your previous episode and move on. If you do not learn, you will tend to repeat it. Also, if you bring baggage into the new relationship you may either disturb it inadvertently or make your present boyfriend act in a similar manner by the power of suggestion! For your depression please do the following: Have a good night?s sleep, have a good breakfast of more proteins, meditate often, remain free of stress, eat a lot of fiber, nuts, avocado, exercise regularly, eat dark chocolate, do Yoga meditation exercises, etc. I suggest you do the opposite of what this depression makes you feel like doing (actually, not doing): you will need to fight this condition. You must become active; stay upright during the daylight time; meet people; never sleep during the day, wake up by 6 am every day, play some active games, especially contact games, do physical exercises, talk to people and join some social clubs, attend Yoga classes etc. Watch sitcoms on TV or comedies and cheer yourself up. Go for excursions in groups, for outings, camps, conferences, and religious conventions. Get a pet dog and spend time training it, exercising it and relating to it. Expose yourself to some sunlight every day, at least, 30 minutes but not in the scorching heat. Whatever happens, please incorporate these three important adaptations in your life: always be responsible, be respectful, and be functional. If you did these three, lots of things will go well in life. Please pray and have faith in God to alleviate your sufferings. Don?t wait for others to help. Use your own motivation, which might be at its lowest, but persevere and win this battle. Above all to be really happy, you need to live in love and for love. Learn all about emotions and how to handle them and that will get you out of the depression rather easily and quickly. A counselor is there only to facilitate you, all the hard word must come from you, and your cooperation with that person is very critical for your success. Be positive every day and learn to be contented with what you have. Do some left brain exercises: it is the happy brain. Here are a few suggestions: shut your left nostril and breathe, move your eyes from right to left and vice versa for at least half a minute at a time, and do callisthenic exercises with some form of counting, regularly. Whatever happens please cooperate with the therapy and do not discontinue until the condition is completely resolved. 

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