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Hi, I would like to seek help regarding my preset situation. I am 30 years old. My parents were looking for an alliance for me from 4 years. I could not find a suitable alliance for me. I was not doing well in my job also. I am good at work but can not handle office politics but I continued working only to support my family. Couple of months back I got engaged to guy. It so happened when I saw his photo I could not like him, later when I saw him through skype also I did not like. But my parents convinced me every time it is not right rejecting proposals now I have to take a call as I am running out of age. So when the guy came to India we met him, again I could not like him, I was totally confused. Sometimes I could feel it is ok I can go ahead with marriage later I felt noo. The Guy was well educated and financially sound as well. All kind of thoughts I could not control. I wanted to ignore everything and go ahead with marriage but the pain I was suffering did not allow me. I consulted a doctor he said I am suffering from depression and anxiety, I was put on tablets. We had to call off the engagement. Now after couple of months I have become alright. I am not working. Now my parents want me to settle down. The very thought of marriage upsets me. I think of the stage I suffered. Can you please suggest what I can do? I was not a person like this I was an individual capable of taking decision but not I am in this stage. Thanks!
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If you are having depression or anxiety it is not your fault at all. Having anticipatory anxiety for marriage is understandable but there are ways of dealing with it. Your previous engagement had lots of uncertainties as you do not know the person well and so your anxiety is justified. If you feel better now then you can definitely go ahead for marriage. If you still feel very anxious and that refrains you from dealing with the decision of marriage then consult your psychiatrist and discuss it in details.
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