My question is psychologic. I am a good looking fair boy. One year ago I had married with a girl which is whitish in color and not too beautiful not ugly. I done marriage under the pressure of my parents. Now I am feeling complexion as I look my all frds wife they are almost everyone fair and beautiful. And now I feel complexion to go to any party and also when I look to my wife I feel cheated and I am not talking with her very nicely. I am not going to any public place with her inspite of her nature is very nice. Help.

Ms. Sadhana MishraPsychologist4yrs exp

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hi, you are looking at the shallow aspect of life. If you wanted to marry a beautiful fair girl then you could have told your parents about it instead of getting married under pressure and hurting your wife for no fault of hers! You maybe finding it hard because your wife doesn't fit the category of beautiful that you were looking for in your spouse but there are other aspects to a person's personality other than beauty. You mentioned that your wife is nice by nature, will it be possible to accept her for her niceness which is a boon these days....connect with her other qualities, connect to the person she is, at a human level. How would it have been if your wife was beautiful but not 'nice', would you be happy then? You feeling conscious about taking your wife among your get-togethers has got to do with your own unacceptable of her as she is. How much happy are your friends in their married life is a secret best known to them. The day you will learn to connect with her at humane level, you may realise her true beauty which will only enhance with the growing years together, skin beauty will only fade with time and it's the emotional connect that you will build with her will last for long. So look deeper into her as a living being with feelings and emotions and don't judge her for her colour. She too has the right to reject you for the way you treat her but she is being kind to you. Spend some quality time together and explore each others likes, wants, needs and dreams. This will bring to your notice other truly beautiful aspects of each other and help in creating a secure relationship.  

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