Hello. I want to talk about a complicated situation going in my life. And it's making me insane. I'm 22 years old student. Till 12th boards. I was quite serious about my career. And I'm still. Really want to achieve. And want to be working girl. But after 12 I took and really worked hard for a national level college. Though I could not got that but still it was my choice not to go for other that was good enough but out of state. I wanted to be stay in my own city which I really where are all my friends as well my bf. After a lot of fight I took architecture instead engineering I thought it would be great for me and everyone was against it. But I won and my college began. 1 year was okay. I mean not great. I mean I was just an average girl with hi-fi thinking. And 2 year my attendance was becoming short day by day. I started thinking I don't deserve I want something else. Once my attendance was very short in 3 year. I got so scared that what would everyone will ask about my attendance. And so on and what will I tell to my class teacher and friends. I got really scared and stopped going to classes and did not attend the exams as well. Everyone of my batch will graduate next year. I don't know what should I do? I mean what I'm suppose to do? I cannot talk to my friends or my family relatives. That's why I'm very scared. I wanted to an ias. And it was my dream since I was in 9th std. And now I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think I should die just end my life instead of wasting everyone's money hope and time. And frankly I can't tell or talk to anyone. The only thing I'm worried about is my career studies and graduation. Please help me.

Ms. Neha GuptaPsychologist10yrs exp

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Hi, I can understand your concern but my question is that do you really think dying is a good option. You should be brave enough to take your decision and make your life fruitful for yourself. First decide what you want to do and second for that if you have to move out of your city then you should. Forget about friends family just concentrate on your career if you want it. Talk to your family. Because they are the one who understands you better and trust you. Don't take any stupid step. If you really want something you just need to work hard for it. And work till the time you achieve your goal. 

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Dr. Vimal KumarPsychiatrist38yrs exp

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Dear lybrate-user hi, first & foremost start loving yourself with all the +ves & --ves, don't place your respect, approach, intellect on the basis of what other's wd think & say. Then start a healthy life life routine, like: relaxed & fixed morning - with some meditation & light exercise being a part of it. And here lies the key once you are relaxed & disciplined your self confidence wd be quite high, that wd be the time to decide about future course of action, if still hv some confusion, consult a specialist, wishing you all the best! 

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Dr. Solasa Rama KrishnaHomeopath21yrs exp

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Hi lybrate-user, I have read your prolonged query and found you are confused and anxious. Let me touch few points, 1 - you didn't disclose why you made so many absents to college, I don t get why anyone having a best goal like ias can do that. 2 - you have a weak personality, you should change any decisions just to please every one. 3- but once taken a decision you should have stick to that and should not look back. 4- it is better late than never - you are only aged 22 and still lot more to go. So try to be strong in taking decisions and do not waste time and focus in activities like love, bf and friends. 5- now you should disclose and accept your mistakes to your teachers and parents and should start over again. Atb, take a wise decision. Do take a consultation for further counseling, if needed. 

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Dr. Pankaj SenHomeopath9yrs exp

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Lybrate-user, jeevan ka ant kr lena samsyao ka samdhan nhi hota. Balki samsyaye to aur bd jati he. Jis jeevn ke ant ki baat aap krte he jara sochiye kya us pr keval aapka hi adhikaar he? apka jeevn aapka bi nhi balki parivar ke hr sadasya ka he. Aapke jeevn ke ant krne se kai rishto ka bhi ant hota he. Jara shant mn se vichar kijiye samsyao ka smadhan bhi njr aayega. Agr jeevn me safal hona he to parishram to krna hi hoga. Aur ho skta he jo aap chahe aapko n mile pr hr baar ishwar hmare liye kuch achha sochta he. Aur hmara pryas kbhi vyarth nhi jata. Hr kisi ko mukkamal e jaha nhi milta kisi ko jami to kisi ko asma nhi milta. Swami vivekanand ki books padiye aapko nischit hi positive energy milegi. Aur aaj se ek nyi disha talashiye apne liye. Jb bhi nirasha lge apne se niche valo ko dekho. Aap unse kai guna behtr he ye sochiye. Koshish krte rho saflta avashya milegi. So think positive, be positive. Best of luck for your golden future waited ahead. Just try for get it. 

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Dr. A.K. SrivastavaPsychologist10yrs exp

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Dear lybrate user Neha, ups and downs are part of life and we cannot control it what we can control is to give proper direction to our life when there is will there is way.i want to give few suggestions please have a little faith in me what i am suggesting .first of all think only about yourself don't think about what others are thinking about you if you will acheive something good in future every one will follow your path.i am giving one example" once there was boy ,his father and horse ,they were going somewhere when both son and father were riding the horse people said how cruel they are ,then son started to walk and father was on horse then people said that how cruel the father is ,he is on horse and son is walking ,then son was on horse then people said how cruel is son,then both son and father started to walk then people said how foolish they are.the moral of the story is that if you will consider what people are thinking and saying then you will deviate from your goal .you want to be an ias you can start from now also its never too late as your age is 22 and maximum age to appear in ias exam is 32 so no issue with age.you can see many example of girls who were average students but qualified ias exam.what actually need is your determination and hard work so start from today.even god help those who help themselves.good luck. 

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