I am in a relationship with a girl for about 8 months. She told me when I first met her that she is already engaged but she loves me she likes spending time with. Unfortunately I fell in love with her. Meanwhile we got in a physical relationship 4 times. But now I started noticing change in her behavior. She keep meeting her boyfriend and she is saying she can't leave him. She is not going to marry me. I am in intense pain kindly show me the way to get out of this. I have tried a lot of time to ignore her but I have. I am preparing for my ca exam and I can't concentrate on that. Please help me. I think I lost everything.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist46yrs exp

92% (37780 ratings)

Ask Free Question

You knew she was engaged and yet you pursued the relationship. I suppose that the sexual consent she gave may have inadvertently given you some hope of a permanent relationship and marriage too. Now that she has made her intentions clear or clarified your relationship with her as temporary, you have to accept it and move on. Since she was already spoken for, you were warned and should not have entertained marriage in your mind. It is now clear that it was a one-sided affair. Since this is final, remove all associations of hers: gifts, notes, letters, cards, emails, and any reminders to get her out of your system, not just the mind. Keep the good memories but don’t indulge in them. Get back to your old pals and revive those contacts. Normally when we get a girlfriend, we drop all our friends and live exclusively with her. This is not a good thing to do, generally. So do get back to them and get into good social circles. They will help you get over her. Do not talk ill or malign your ex to your friends, whatever the reason. That is, unfortunately, a very bad habit many of us have – we must still respect her reputation and treat her with dignity. Since this break up is so serious for you, do meet up with a counselor and talk about your feelings, openly. This is not the end of the world and she is not the only girl in life. You will find another but learn not to repeat the mistakes that led to the breakup. This time, choose wisely and consider all the information you have beforehand to make such a unilateral decision, which is not how relationships are made. 

11 person found this helpful