Hello Dr. I am a 35 year old married woman. Married for 6.5 years. My husband is emotionally distant from me but emotionally overly attached to his mom which is creating problems in our marriage. Due to this problem we both are not able to bond emotionally and resolve conflicts between us. My husband has lived in a highly dysfunctional family. Father being very strict and his parents do not get along well. His mother is totally dependent on my husband.
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Hello lybrate user, generally all married man are more attached emotionally to mothers than wife, however this emotional dependency ll reduce gradually, after having kids and as time passes in years in marriage. This may take 4 to 5 years more. Since 2 people come together from separate upbringing, conflict are bound to be there but resolving them need to understand each others view point n excepting them. Since your husband is from patriarchal family system, he ll always want his decision to have a upper hand n you dependent on him, with years n exposure to other married couples, the bonding ll increase and you will have a happy married life.
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I understand how you feel, marriage requires a lot of effort. Many men and women take time in adjusting and coping with the demands this transition of marriage brings in. For men, having their spouse share the space with them and striking a balance between their parents and their spouse becomes difficult similarly a women who has moved out of her house and its comfort feels helpless when she does not get the expected support. A lot can be resolved from an individuals end too. Having said that, how we can resolve what you are experiencing is by working on your emotions, thoughts and coping mechanism which can further help you resolve your conflicts in the marriage more constructively.
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