I am married for four years but till now never had intercourse as she feels immense pain and I being a soft person don't force her much. She is not so educated and so belief in old ideology like blame others as mine is very thick. I want to know is there any medical procedures available to make it thin or any other alternatives? She is obese while me only 54 kg and she 65 kg. Don't want to use gel also. Is there any other position safe for us. I indulge in sucking as a alternative but it leads to heavy bleeding and pain for many days and she says it happens bcoz of this only is it true? And how safe it is? She curse me for that also. What should I do? One year back she had undergone operation also for heavy bleeding. Thx please suggest.

Dr. Vikas KhannaPsychologist17yrs exp

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Dear friend, the condition is called vaginismus this is the result of an involuntary vaginal muscle spasm, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration painful or impossible. It has more psychological reasons like 1fear of pain associated with penetration, particularly the popular misconception of" breaking" the hymen upon the first attempt at penetration, or the idea that vaginal penetration will inevitably hurt the first time it occurs 2 knowledge of (or witnessing) sexual or physical abuse of others, without being personally abused 3 also in asian countries there may be some guilt of doing something wrong involved. You must get her counseled by a good gynecologist/psychologist. Also she should do kegel exercise. You can watch it on youtube lastly the bleeding could be from cervix and not vagina, in any case for that gt her checked. 

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Dr. Vandana WalvekarGynaecologist48yrs exp

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Agree see a sexologist must for future. 

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