We approached this person x for my son's career counselling. We were guided. Thereafter this person x extended her hand for friendship and it happened too fast. She started coming on weekends at our place and we became good friends. I was a quite person by nature and I was asked to speak out and gradually I started sharing my left foot trauma with her. Which I suffered for 4 year's.when I lost my confidence ,lost my job, was going through major financial issues .no physio was ready to take up my case as the surgery went wrong and it was a complicated case so I was on bed with limited movements for 2 year's.after my second surgery I finally found a physio who was reasonable and was ready to take up my case and my treatment began. But my physio was going through depression and started sharing things with me which I was not comfortable. She was quite irregular in her taking sessions because of her personal issues. Because of which I used to take 5 steps forward and 10 steps backward. But I had started managing my day to day life, with her on and off sessions. Though I did not recover completely as the treatment was not regular according to the ortho. I tried looking for other physios in the meantime to get regular sessions but either they refused to take up my complicated case or they were way to expensive and due to our finances I couldn't take it up. My foot reached a state where I was told if not treated properly it might have to be amputee. I cried and cried requested this physio to take the session but she asked me to look for someone else as ahe was going through a tough time. In-between I used to keep guiding her and brought her to a state where she gave up the thought of committing suicide because of her personal issues. Thereafter a physio who had come from indore to do his research work for a year came to delhi, spinal injury. And treated me .my sister funded for the treatment and with our efforts I bounced back and lead more or less a normal life. Now when this friend x started helping and guiding me with my issues and told me to pursue counselling as a career, it was my passion too. But her following nature used to trigger my emotions as there was lot of similarity in my physio who was into depression and this person x.eg 1. Giving time and then not taking the session. As sometimes she did not feel like. 2. Both my x physio and this x therapist had toxic relation and I tried to be there by their side through and through guiding them. Giving them emotional support etc 3. Asking for area's where they need to work on and when candid opinion was given they used to get upset but not show. So I realized that people ask to be candid but then not necessarily I have to do so. And the list is on. Our issues used to be trival but they used to take an ugly turn. Blaming each other. We used to have immature arguments. Worse was whenever this person used to have counter transference, then she used to exit common groups etc. So our common friend told her to handle her counter transference. As if she is guiding me and she knows my issue is transference and if she also behaves in this manner then how will she handle my case. But after this person x separated with her friend who was a narcissistic she developed the habit of lying on occasions and gaslighting which is not a part of her personality at all. I tried conveying it to her through examples but she got furious. One day she tested me that she is going out of my life which was really heart ful. I requested her to give me some guidance on how to work on my transference so that I work on myself but I was told to help myself though I apologized too. After 15 days she tested me and my husband and invited us home for dinner for some celebration.in those 15 days I joined sudarshan kheer etc but still did not know how to work on my issues. I had stopped seeking help from her and wanted to work on my transference so I requested her to send across my tests etc which she took .this messaging again led to our triggers and she said she has torn my reports etc which made me very upset. Worst was when she said that she had predicted to a common friend that I will associate with her x narcissistic friend and do counselling. It made me mad. And in return I said all mean things to her. And tested her that now I will get in touch with her only when she wants and will wait for that day. Till now she has not reverted and had sent me narc msgs and told our common friend the same and I actually felt I had developed narc traits but got it ruled out. She is a wonderful person sir otherwise ,she herself has gone through a lot in life. After a narc relationship something is gone wrong and of course she has her triggers too. My issue is I had found a good friend. But whenever I used to see similarities of my physio behaviour in her I used to get my triggers and said things to her which was wrong on my part. I want to come out of this transference now sir.
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Mam a kind request pls take up counselling if you can. You could use online counseling here at Lybrate. Your case is too complicated and intertwined, hence no conclusions can be drawn. Few questions you should ask yourself are: 1. Does this happen with other friends too i.e. Transference? Or only with this friend. 2. How do you know that it is transference? We need to understand this clearly and absolutely. 3. Counselling does not come. Easy.a counsellor is supposed to keep aside personal feelings when providing therapeutic sessions to clients. Hence whatever you, your physio, etc were doing is sharing not counselling. And that is exactly the reason why you went through turmoil, anger, hurt etc. It's really great that your leg problem is resolved. Things can only get better. From here. Keep the Faith. Â
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We are glad that you are able to share your story at length. It does sound like your physical problems needed to be treated and the only person you found who could handle your case had some psychiatric issues herself. I believe that it does affect your recovery as you mention that you would take one step forwards and 2 steps backwards in your recovery. This would have been seen as a red flag by anyone and this should have made you seek attention from a different physiotherapist. It usually does not help for you as a patient to have advised and helped your therapist who was going through depression. It is not good for a therapeutic relationship. It does however seem like you are in a place where finding a therapist should not be difficult at all. The ncr region has many good physiotherapists and you might have to go to their clinics to find help. Our Lybrate team may be able to help you find a good therapist since recovery is important to you. Also it seems like if the doctors think that the progress made is minimal, you may need revision surgery or even amputation. We believe it will also help for you to be on medications. If you are already on medications or have been on any in the past to deal with depression and anxiety as a result of physical injury or due to transference issues with your physiatrist, I recommend that you share it with us so as for us to help you better. We would like for you to recover fully, both physically and emotionally and not be disrupted by transference from working with your physiotherapists. I suggest you consult us online. Look forward to hearing from you. If you need help with booking an appointment online with me on this website either text, an appointment for a confidential and private consultation you may do so by contacting the help desk of Lybrate. Â
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