At the time of childhood I felt guilty myself seeing my friends that they have why i'm not. I used to old books old uniforms unable to pay my tuitions fee and school fees. I think I was poor and i'm not made for my friends and society so I was felt hopeless and loneliness myself at that time. I started making distance from my friends and society gradually. Felt fear to face teachers, higher rank. Seldom go to school and tuition as teacher demand fees. My family was poor and one of my brothers was alcoholic and disturb my family on daily basis. With the time I used to stay alone don't attend any party or functions and gradually started masturbation. When I was preparing for final examinations of the schools and colleges felt fully depressed as my preparation was not up to date as I seldom had to school and tuitions and had less books and notes. At the time of my college third year final exams I felt fully depressed sometimes suicidal through comes into my mind so I consult a doctor near my home she proscribed me, 1. Fludac 20 mg two times a day for three months. I take this medicine around three months but not fell good, my mood was always sleepy. 2.afterwards she allowed me to take fludac 10 serlift 25 for three months. 3.afterward serlift 50 two time a day for one year. I fell fresh and healthy taking the last medicine. I used serlift 50 two times a day around one and half year. Fell better and consult her she advice me to stop medications as I feel better but advice me that the same problem may comes again as you have ocd. She was no longer alive. Now i'm in a govt job. Again I have same problem -masturbation to reduce anxiety once to twice on daily, feeling alone, suicidal thought, unable to attend party and social functions mood irritation take sleep around 12 to 14 hours in a day after stopping medication last 2 years and taking medicine around 2 years. 1. What is the reason? 2. What to do? 3. Does I have ocd or depression? 4. Why it is only happens with me? 5. I already takes the medicine for 2 years.