I am 35, have been taking nexito5 and quel since 2 weeks but I am facing lot of anxiety and fear and then scare about the upcoming event which is my marriage. I do not like the girl but it's a force from my parents as the girl is ok to marry me. Went through a break up of a 5 years relationship and since then I was depressed. What should I do?

Ms. Rachna MishraPsychologist10yrs exp

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The most effective solution for dealing with anxiety for me personally was waking up early. I am not a morning person but once I tried this, I was surprised how good this made me feel. It helped me find peace and calm myself down. Having so much time in my hand I could do small things that made me happy and I felt a sense of accomplishment just by waking up early. I feel the most anxious during the night- so sleeping early really helped me tackle it to a great extent. Meditation was another thing I tried when my anxiety was at its peak. Trust me- for someone who thinks a lot, it is no joke to shut your mind down and focus on your breathing. I could concentrate for very few minutes in the beginning but my thoughts kept spiraling back. So listening to some meditation music while I meditate helped me increase concentration. It helped me analyse my recurring thoughts and gave me more clarity about them. Mostly during such times I don?t feel like interacting with anyone- thinking that nobody will really understand how I feel. It?s great if you can talk it out and rant everything going on in your mind to someone who cares to listen. Taking it all out really helps. If you?re someone who is not comfortable with addressing this with anyone, then you can try writing down all that is going on in your mind. Once you take it all out in any manner, you will feel relieved. If you feel like you are stuck between your thoughts and feel very helpless, just do something. Take a walk, call up your friends and talk about something random, play with your pet - just do something to break that cycle that is going on in your head. Do anything that will distract you even for sometime. Take action without overthinking anything. Just go for it. Being positive and thinking right is almost impossible during such times. One of the main reasons I avoid talking to people during this time is because they may feel bad/ give some positive shit which is not what I want. You know yourself the best- try starting small and appreciating small wins. Having a motivational self-talk session/ looking in the mirror and giving yourself some positivity might help. Appreciate yourself for how far you have come and remind yourself about your strengths. Try to get a balance of the basic things that need to be right- sleep, food, health and water level. Once you get these things in check it will show better results over time. Having any kind of physical activity or a workout routine will help you fight anxiety. Doing this releases endorphins which trigger a positive feeling in the body. It will also help you reduce stress, improve sleep and help in fighting with anxiety and depression. If all the above things do not help and you are still stuck with being anxious, then there is just one way out. Confrontation. Ask yourself what is troubling you and analyse your thoughts. Address it and not run away from it. You have to feel the anxiety, be curious about it and seek answers and find out what is really going on. There will always be an underlying message or something you?re trying to run away from and are too weak to confront that. No matter how much you run away from it, sooner or later you will have to face it. This is a long process and you need to be strong and have patience to tackle it. Lastly, know that you are not alone. This feeling is just temporary. Think of it as your body?s way to communicate something with you. We feel this only when we have lost perspective and when we are lacking inspiration. We have to just find ways to get out of the drama going on in our heads and gain perspective. Anxiety is something most of us go through at different levels. We are just too weak to talk about it. It is a part of being human- you are not alone.  

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