Possessiveness is my problem. I was loving a girl since 2 years but she doesn't. If she love, marry someone I can't control my feelings. I brutally fixed my mind to have her in my life. I really love her more than me. But I'm a good friend to her. Practically she doesn't marry me as she knows. She doesn't love me anymore. So if she will marry someone how can I be calm. Although it will be single side love but the possession makes me to be in severe depression as I'm emotionally week too. I hv some girls in my fnrs. And the tendency to talk with new girls before 5,6 years when I'm new to Facebook made me bad to her mentality (50% rsn for not loving me) And I have changed, do not even like any girl. Actually she is a girl who wants one who does have responsibility and intelligence more than her. But I really care and love her *what makes me (tons of possessiveness) to be happy if she is happy with someone else* Please advice. Thanks.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist47yrs exp

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First of all you cannot possess a girl you don't even own. You must have a lot of problems with relationships to get so enamoured in a one-sided affair. Secondly, if you love her more than yourself, you are not only trouble but you could become harmful to yourself too. No girl will want someone who is so crazy about them: they will literally run away from you. This is an important change you must make and I suggest you meet with a counselor for this purpose and as well as to help you emotionally. You must be composed, behaved like a gentleman, show respect for the other person's decisions however much it hurts you. These are qualities that will take you places in relationships. There are a lot of girls out there and just because you have an infatuation over this girl it has blocked your approaching other girls in this regard. If this girl likes intelligent persons you are certainly not behaving like one. So let her go and don't try to deny her existence by imagining that she is not there! Face these problems but better still if you reached out to a counselor and got a lot of help and support. 

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