I am very short tempered because of which I end up getting angry and frustrated. Such a behaviour results in hurting my loved ones. How to control this?

Question

Every people can bear your torcher once or twice after then they will no be calm.

Ramesh Ram · Accepted Answer

Every people can bear your torcher once or twice after then they will no be calm.

Sathya Prakash · Answer

Anger is an emotion that all of us have experienced to varying extents. However, sometimes, anger can go a bit out of hand, and result in untoward consequences. For some, it is a regular feature of their personalities, while for others, it has developed after a certain change in their lives or onset of a disorder. Irrespective of the situation, anger often results in impulsive decision making, damage to property, physical violence and strained relationships. Very often, after a bout of anger, the person repents for what he has done in a fit of rage. So how can we reign in anger? Anger that is particularly damaging, has certain properties which we shall use to gain control over it and minimize damage. It can be divided into two sections - minimizing damage & targeting the origins of anger.
Minimizing damage
Typically, anger has a rapid onset. After an instigating event/ stimulus, it peaks within a short time, and gradually cools of over a period of time. Although, the time periods vary from person to person, typically the peak lasts from a few minutes to an hour. This peak is particularly associated with risk of physical violence, property damage or impulsive decision-making. So, if we were to somehow while away this critical period, much of the damage could be minimized. There are many different and effective ways of distracting and whiling away this critical time period, but they all have one thing in common - they are pre-planned to every little detail with an understanding to put them to use without much thinking when anger breaks out. This is akin to the emergency instructions issued on boarding a flight. The exact details of where the exits are located, what steps to take first and what to do later are all explicitly laid down beforehand; because when panic strikes, one is unable to think clearly and is likely to react in a habitual fashion, which is not necessarily the ideal one for the situation. Similarly, here too, when one is angry, he/ she is unable to think clearly and therefore, this need for a pre-determined action plan. Typical measures include going to a different room and drinking a glass of cold water, reverse counting, listening to a pre-determined set of songs on a smartphone, talking to a specific person, going out to the park and so on. Many of these can be combined and needs to be individualized to suit each person, depending upon his/ her preference and comfort. However simplistic this might seem, it works very effectively if implemented properly!
Anger can also be controlled in certain scenarios using medications prescribed under a psychiatrist's supervision.
Targeting the origins
If the anger is arising in the context of a clinical disorder, it will need appropriate expert management. Psychotherapy and counseling, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (http://drsathyaprakash. Blogspot.in/2016/06/what-is-cognitive-behavioural-therapy. Html) can go a long way in identifying the roots of the anger, correcting maladaptive beliefs and conclusions and alleviating anger. Medications can also be helpful in certain scenarios to target specific disorders that give rise to excessive anger.
If you have an anger problem that has caused needless damage and you repent over it later, don't waste time! Seek expert help and see your life change for the better!

Chayanika Sarma · Answer

Emotions are our feelings. Sometimes we are happy & sometimes sad, sometimes angry & upset, while sometimes calm & contented. Joy, sorrow, fear, grief, anger, jealousy, love etc are normal human emotions which every individual experiences. These emotions are there in everyone, but how one reacts to the emotions vary from person to person, based on his tolerance level, coping skills, patience etc. Anger is one such emotion, which do harm if not controlled. One does not have control over his emotions, but has control over his actions.
Anger is a basic emotion which every human being experiences in response to life events or situations. If out of control it may harm in aspect of career, relationships & varied aspects of life, and also brings in immense feeling of insult, frustrations, disappointment, & other negative feelings within. Try the following measures to control short tempered nature:
1)First realize & acknowledge that you have the anger outburst problem, & stay aware & cautious about it.
2)Try to understand your own emotions especially those events, situations etc that triggers your anger. Whenever you face any such situations, stay alert & calm, try to avoid it or control it.
3)When you are angry, take a short break, move away from that place if possible, have a cup of tea or coffee etc to calm your mind.
4)Whenever you are feeling angry, try to interrupt the anger cycle in the following way:
a)At that moment do not talk & try to divert yourself & control your anger first. In the state of anger you may say or do things which you may regret later after you calm down.
B)Try to distract your mind by visiting a favorite website, listen a song on your cell phone, do something that comforts you or daydream about an activity of choice etc.
C)Use countdown to distract your mind- start counting backwards from 100 to1.
D)Use physical relaxation techniques like deep breathing exercise.
E)Use mental relaxation techniques like positive thinking & imagery, where you imagine anything that gives you happiness.
F)Just talk to someone with whom you feel comfortable and relaxed.
G)Take your anger as a humor & laugh it away.
Try till your anger calms down.
5)If any person or situation is triggering your anger repeatedly talk to the concerned person when you are in a calm & relaxed state of mind, or work on solving the situation.
6)Work on increasing the calmness of your mind, so that you do not break down easily in any situation. For that do physical activities like regular exercise, yoga, meditation, relaxation techniques like deep breathing exercise daily. Sleep adequately & maintain a healthy lifestyle.
7)Avoid substance of abuse like alcohol, cannabis etc, as these substances reduces frustration tolerance & makes the mind restless easily.
8)Try to be good listener & develop good communication skills, as proper communication solves many problems.
9)Learn to assert yourself, express your feelings calmly & directly, without becoming hostile & defensive.
10)Do not try to suppress your anger, but try to solve it. As suppressing anger leads to anxiety, depression, & other detrimental effects on the body within.
If after trying above also you are not able to control your anger, then seek professional help. Consult a Psychiatrist who will evaluate you & advice you medicines or counseling sessions accordingly. All the best.