Hello! I am 18 years old! I have a lot of anger issues due to which I end up having problems with my family members, friends and people around me! Please suggest a therapy or a solution to this :(
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Anger is good. It protects you. But intense, uncontrolled anger may destroy valuable relationships. Anger is a result of anxiety and fear. When we assume that our expectations will not be met, we become anxious. When we feel unsure about our own capabilities we become anxious. This anxiety creates fear. Anxiety comes from our beliefs. All beliefs can be modified. Anger has lots of energy. Avoid arguments/confrontations when you are very angry. When you are very angry you are likely to use rough language which may damage your relations and you are likely to behave impulsively. All this you might regret later on. Following are a few techniques which will help you to manage your anger in difficult situations: 1.Sit down and have a glass of water, slowly. This will help you to calm down a little. 2.Avoid or go away from that room or situation. Tell the people concerned, that you are angry and would like to discuss it some other time. 3.Deep breathing exercises help a lot. Close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths, turn your attention towards your body. See what is happening to your body. Tell your body muscles to relax. If your heart is beating fast, if you are breathing fast, continue deep breathing, till it normalises. 4.Now understand what is making you angry. Understand your own anxiety and fear related to the issue. 5.Let the other person know how you are ?feeling?. Start your statements, ?I feel hurt/insulted/let down/neglected etc. When you do this?, instead of saying ?You hurt/neglect me?. When you express your feeling in this manner, the other person does not feel blamed, which makes the other person more receptive. 6.Focus on the current issue, don?t bring in past situations. 7.Tell the other person, what you want or expect, instead of telling what you do not want. E.G. Instead of saying ?I don?t want you to go out now?, say ?I would like you to stay at home today?. 8.Listen carefully what the other person wants to tell you. Give others a chance to voice their opinions. 9.Make an eye contact and be firm but polite while communicating your point of view. 10.Understand everyone?s responsibility in the situation. Try to see, what is your share in the problematic situation? Work on that. 11.Understand what change you want. 12.Have realistic expectations from others and also from yourself. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult me by clicking consult option FrustrationLife is full of frustrations. From the minor irritations of losing something to the major problem of continued failure towards a desired goal. Since many of the things we truly want require a degree of frustration, being able to manage frustration is required in order to allow us to remain happy and positive even in trying circumstances. Understanding Frustration Frustration is an emotion that occurs in situations where a person is blocked from reaching a desired outcome. In general, whenever we reach one of our goals, we feel pleased and whenever we are prevented from reaching our goals, we may succumb to frustration and feel irritable, annoyed and angry. Typically, the more important the goal, the greater the frustration and resultant anger or loss of confidence. Frustration is not necessarily bad since it can be a useful indicator of the problems in a person's life and, as a result, it can act as a motivator to change. However, when it results in anger, irritability, stress resentment, depression or a spiral downward where we have a feeling of resignation or giving up, frustration can be destructive.
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