Hiii! I am a 18 year old male. I had very bad temper some times I can't control my anger. What should I do to be calm.

Question

Being all of 18 years there could be some implications if this anger was of recent origin. There may be unresolved issues regarding unexpressed anger from childhood that needs some attention now. Meet with a counselor along with your parents to explore those influences. None of the feelings are to be controlled. The way you express them has to be appropriate. Now anger is pure energy and people mistakenly think that they must express anger violently, or aggressively, or they can damage something, or throw a fit, or kill, or hurt, or withdraw, etc. These expressions can be followed, if they are appropriate to the situation. You can instead simply talk about the feeling, write about it and share it with someone who understands; scream and shout in a situation which warrants it and so on. When the expression is most suitable, the repercussions are minimized and the other person tends to understand and is willing to apologize and sort out the matter. Many of us are inclined to worry about the consequences of expressing anger and use fear to suppress the legitimate expression. You can exorcise your anger out of your system by exercising, but it is the energy that is expended not the feeling. Unexpressed feelings will hurt you back by clinging on to a favorite organ and troubling it enough to cause it to malfunction or lead to its total dysfunction. You can also hand over the feeling to God, if you are a spiritual person, and very effectively too. All feelings must be expressed without exception.

Saul Pereira · Accepted Answer

Being all of 18 years there could be some implications if this anger was of recent origin. There may be unresolved issues regarding unexpressed anger from childhood that needs some attention now. Meet with a counselor along with your parents to explore those influences. None of the feelings are to be controlled. The way you express them has to be appropriate. Now anger is pure energy and people mistakenly think that they must express anger violently, or aggressively, or they can damage something, or throw a fit, or kill, or hurt, or withdraw, etc. These expressions can be followed, if they are appropriate to the situation. You can instead simply talk about the feeling, write about it and share it with someone who understands; scream and shout in a situation which warrants it and so on. When the expression is most suitable, the repercussions are minimized and the other person tends to understand and is willing to apologize and sort out the matter. Many of us are inclined to worry about the consequences of expressing anger and use fear to suppress the legitimate expression. You can exorcise your anger out of your system by exercising, but it is the energy that is expended not the feeling. Unexpressed feelings will hurt you back by clinging on to a favorite organ and troubling it enough to cause it to malfunction or lead to its total dysfunction. You can also hand over the feeling to God, if you are a spiritual person, and very effectively too. All feelings must be expressed without exception.